What Are the HOT Toys for Christmas?

Well, I finally let you all down. I tried to have Chris Byrne, the Toy Guy, that you have seen on TV shows, such as GMA, Fox and Friends, Today Show, Live with Regis and Kelly, and many others. Sadly, we could not get our schedules to mesh.

So I have gone to his website http://www.timetoplaymag.com and am listing for you what he says will be the top sellers for this year.

By the way, you should check out his website--they have giveaways year round and on Monday they are announcing the winner of a play award that was voted on by visitors to the site!

There is lots of information about different toys and videos showing them. For instance, I have been wondering what in the heck a Squinkie is--now I know.

So, without further ado, here is Chris' list of HOT toys (in alphabetical order):

• Bop It Bounce, recommended for boys and girls 8 and up
• Dance Star Mickey, recommended for all kids (or kids at heart) 2 and up
• FurReal Friends Go-Go, My Walking Pup, recommended for girls 4 and up
• Hogwarts Castle, recommended for boys and girls 8 and up
• Imaginext Bigfoot the Monster, recommended for boys 3 and up
• iXL, recommended for boys and girls 3 and up
• Lalaloopsy, recommended for girls 8 and up
• Leapster Explorer, recommended for boys and girls 4 and up
• Lego Games, recommended for boys and girls 7 and up
• Loopx, recommended for boys and girls 7 and up
• Monster High, recommended for girls 6 and up
• Moon Dough, recommended for boys and girls 2 and up
• Nerf and Strike Stampede ECS Blaster, recommended for boys 8 and up
• Silly Bandz, recommended for boys and girls 5 and up
• Sing-A-Ma-Jigs, recommended for boys and girls 3 and up
• Squinkies, recommended for girls 3 and up
• V.Reader, recommended for boys and girls 3 and up
• Zoombles, recommended for girls 4 and up

Hope this helps with your shopping for the holidays! Have fun.

Beware of "Bad" Praise!

Is there good praise and bad praise for your kids? Isn't any praise good for them? After all, there have been studies that show that self-esteem is incredibly important in our kids. So how can there be bad praise?

In the book, Nurtureshock: New Thinking About Children http://www.nurtureshock.com , authors Po Bronson and Ashley Merryman show why there is such a thing. Not only does a certain type of praise not help our kids, it can actually decrease their desire to achieve.

An example in the book shows kids being giving tests. After the first test, one child is told they are very smart. The other is told they must have tried really hard. For the next test, the children are given a choice of an easier test or a harder one that will teach them something.

The child who was told they were smart picked the easier test. The one who was told they tried hard picked the harder one. And it was not true for just one group of kids. It is universal. The "smart" kid could not allow themselves to fail, so they would not put themselves in a position where that could happen.

If you praise effort, you give the child a variable they can control--the amount of work they put into a project. Conversely, the kids who were praised for their intellect (which they do not control) felt no need to put out effort.

These results were true, regardless of socioeconomic class or gender. So if you want to make a big difference in your child, praise their efforts. Tell them they worked hard on a project and did it well rather than tell them how smart they are. Tell them they hit the ball well in the baseball game rather than saying they are great ball players.

If you think about it, it makes sense.

Children Need to Learn Patriotism at Home

Recently I saw a YouTube video entitled I Fought For You by The Sound Tank. I will post it on my Parents Rule Facebook page tomorrow. It is an excellent way to start a discussion with your child about our country. This week we celebrate Veteran's Day, a day set aside to honor all those men and women who have served our country and played a part in gaining and preserving our freedom.

So many forces are trying to take away our freedoms these days and we must be vigilant. But, even more important, we must teach our children to be on guard against attacks from outside and from inside our borders. Some attacks sound innocent enough until you scratch under the surface and find out the true goals.

Therefore we must (and we must teach our children) to never take a pundit's or a politician's or a reporter's word as absolute fact until we have done the research ourselves. Our country has always been united in its desire to protect our freedom. We need to continue on that path or face loss of what we hold dear about our wonderful country.

Talk to your kids--make sure they know that freedom comes at a price. It is sometimes a steep price, but worth it. Ask any Gold Star mom (one who has lost a child in military service) and she will tell you how proud she is of her child's desire to play their role in our country's history.

God bless our troops and keep them safe.

Stop Those Terrible Kids Selling Pumpkins...Really?

According to http://www.idahoreporter.com, a government official shut down an illegal pumpkin stand last week in Lewiston, Idaho. Thank God these dedicated officials are out the protecting us from the crimes of 4 and 6-yr olds. What would have happened if they had not been on top of this heinous crime?

Here's is what the outcome could have been:

• Two little kids would have earned some money to buy sports equipment.
• These children may have learned that money is earned, not picked off the money tree (as my parents were fond of telling me.)
• The parents may have taught their children a valuable lesson that will aid them in life.
• The kids may have had the satisfied feeling of playing with a toy or a ball that they had earned through hard work, instead expecting the government to take care of them.
• The people who bought the pumpkins would have left feeling a little happier because they knew they had helped the kids help themselves.

As you can see, the consequences could have been dire. Thank goodness all of that was averted. Let's not raise another generation of entrepreneurs, for Pete's sake.

So, does this rule extend to garage sales and lemonade stands? Where does it start and end?

Seriously folks, this is why Americans are joining the Tea (taxed enough already) Parties. It is not because of racism or trying to push the political agenda of one party. Individuals from all races, all ages, all socio-economic stages, and all political parties are joining because our government beauracracies are out of control.

Incidents like this one are disgusting. This kind of government intrusion was unheard of when I was growing up. I want our country back to a state in which a child can sell a pumpkin or a cup of lemonade without being harassed by the government who is supposed to be there to support them.

10 Ways to Date Your Spouse

At a wedding shower the other night someone told the bride and groom that the secret to marriage is to "always date your wife." Another guest, a young married man, said "That is easy until the baby comes." Since that night I have thought about both comments and, as usual, have an opinion about them. (You could at least pretend to be surprised...)

The advice to always date your wife goes both ways--always date your spouse or always keep that dating relationship may be better ways to put it. When dating, you are always trying to make the other one happy, find little gifts for each other, avoiding silly arguments, and doing a lot of kissing and snuggling. All those actions are great for a marriage and helps to keep the fires of romance and love kindled.

My main comments are regarding the second comment, which happens to be very true. When you have a baby, everything changes. You have less free time, less sleep, less money, and someone else to focus your attention on. Having said that, the baby also brings great joy to a loving couple and the upsides outweigh the downsides.

However you can still date your spouse. Here are my suggestions:

• Bring home a bouquet of flowers or a card unexpectedly for no reason every now and then. If you do it too often it loses its affect.
• Without warning, walk over to your spouse while they are cooking, changing a diaper, playing a video game, etc. and give them a big, sexy kiss--not just a peck, but the real enchilada.
• Never say bad things about your spouse to your friends. When you say positive things, that is what you invite into your home.
• Don't fight about little stupid things. If you get mad about something, walk away for a bit before you let them have it. Think about whether it will be important in 10 years. If yes, go back and discuss it. Avoid arguing if you can discuss. If no, let it go. Or, think about whether it would have made you mad when you were dating...chances are that most things will be a "no" here. Let it go.
• Never for any reason shut the other out of your bedroom.
• Never miss an opportunity to praise your spouse, especially in front of others. It reminds you why you married them in the first place and is an incentive to them to make you happy.
• Actually have a date. Hire a babysitter or ask grandma to babysit and go somewhere alone. It can be a dinner and a movie date, but there are other options--go for a hike or a bike ride, go visit friends, have friends over (and grandma has the baby at her house), go see a local tourist site that you have not seen, and so forth.
• Sometimes, after the baby is in bed, turn off the TV and computer. Light candles and be creative with sex.
• Play with each other (sorry, we covered sex in the bullet point above.) Play games, tickle each other, chase each other down the street, and so forth. Kids can be involved in this as family time. Never lose the ability to play and have fun.
• Always be respectful of each other. Never be mean to each other. Keep in mind what made you fall in love in the first place. Hang on to those qualities.

Cynical About Politicians? Good!

This week in the Huffington Post is a blog regarding a recent poll. Part of the results of the poll were that young voters, who came out in droves two years ago, are now more cynical about the process. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/09/15/rock-the-vote-poll-young-yepublicans-excited_n_717935.html

This is a great chance for parents to talk about our country to their kids. (If you are not sure how or what to say, my free e-book, The Patriot Parent: Still the Best Hope for America is a place to start. It is available from http://www.parentsrulewithpat.com)

Regardless of why they are more cynical, I am glad they are. Is it because they are conservative and didn't win? Or is it because they voted for change that they now do not believe in? I can't tell you. What I can say is that this can be a good sign for our country.

I talked to many young people before the last election and many were swept away by the emotion of needing change in this country. When I asked them what kind of change they wanted and what the candidates had to offer, they could not verbalize it. Frankly, I was disappointed.

Parents, this is a chance to make our country better! How?

• Tell your kids to be cynical, but keep voting. If they stop voting there is no chance of any change in what is going on in Washington in both parties.
• Help talk them through what they believe needs to change. Help them verbalize their thoughts and the reasons why they believe that way.
• Teach them how to research issues and candidates in order to vote for the person who best represents their ideals.
• Learn together about the history of our country and of the political parties--you may learn some things that will surprise you.
• Assure them that candidates will let them down. After all, they are campaigning on their ideals also and the reality is that not everything they promise can be delivered.
• Teach them, though, that the only way to create change of any significance is at the ballot box. Always cast an informed vote in every election--federal, state, and local.
• Teach them by your actions. Get involved and let your vote make a difference.

So, to say the young people are cynical is great news. That is the first step toward being a powerful voter.

Creating Positive Space with Your Kids

Learn to become still, and to take your attention away from what you don’t want, and all the emotional charge around it, and place the attention on what you wish to experience…Energy flows where attention goes.
Michael Bernard Beckwith, from The Secret

There is so much truth to that statement. When you expect good things, good things happen and vice versa. People who expect bad things also tend to make the decisions that put bad things in their lives, such as women who don’t see their own worth marrying someone who also doesn’t see their worth and treats them badly.

As for me, I remember sitting my daughter down when she was 12 or 13 to tell her that we were going to have a tough time over the next few years. My goal was to assure her that no matter how bad it got and how mad we got at each other, I would always love her. I wanted her to know that the hormone fluctuations and intense emotions are normal. My intent was good.

But I believe that if I had not had that talk with her, things may have been smoother through her teen years. I set the expectation that it would be awful and, many times, it was. I have wondered how different things might have been if I had set a different expectation.

Maybe I should have found a way to celebrate her entrance into womanhood and told her how great she could be—that no matter what happened around her, she was beautiful inside and out, that I was always there for her and loved her, that she had all the tools she needed to make it through the hormone fluctuations with flying colors.

What if I my thoughts, and ultimately hers, had always had a positive expectation instead of a negative one? I dreaded her becoming a teenager because my mom and I had such struggles. Who knows if I could have had an impact? Something inside of me tells me that we would not have had such a difficult time, however.

So cherish your kids. From the time they are little, see them as the little individuals they are. They are not extensions of you and your dreams. They have their own dreams and lessons to learn. Encourage them by word, action, and thought. The more you know they will succeed, they more they will know it too. It is going to be exciting to watch!

If anyone has an example of how this type of thinking has changed their lives or their kids' lives, please post a comment and let everyone know.