5 Back-to-School Homework Tips Every Parent Must Have

I was trying to decide on a blog topic and saw a newsletter in my email box. In the newsletter was this article that I really like--informative and timely. It is re-printed with permission and I hope it is helpful to you--Pat

5 Back-to-School Homework Tips Every Parent Must Have

by Ann K. Dolin, M.Ed.

The ritual of back to school time is here once again. Some parents can't wait to get their kids out the door, while others don't want those lazy summer days to end. Regardless of how parents feel about a transition to a new school year, they all have one thing in common — a universal desire to see their children succeed. Read on to find out how you can make this school year the best ever.

• Establish a Start Time

So much of success in school depends on how well kids perform after the school bell rings. That's right: homework. If you're the parent of a child with the "I'll do it later" syndrome, setting a time in which homework starts is key. There are essentially five times to start homework: right after school, after a 30 minute break, before dinner, after dinner, and right before bedtime. The latter two options are not nearly as productive as the first three, but determining when your child should start homework depends on age.

Elementary students often need down time after school or when they return from their extra-curricular activities; about 30 minutes is usually sufficient. This is when homework should start. Although each day might be different due to sports, lessons and other activities, the routine of starting 30 minutes after returning should not change.

It's much harder to dictate an exact starting time to an adolescent. For older students, consider having the family policy that homework starts before dinner. This step in itself will greatly reduce late night stress when homework still isn't complete.

• Allow a Variety of Homework Spaces

Throw away the old idea that homework needs to be done in the same place each day. New research finds that it's far more productive to vary the location. One day homework might be done in the dining room, another day the home office area, etc. Keep in mind that regardless of where homework is completed, some kids function better when they can lie on the floor, sit on the sofa, or even pace the room while studying for a test.

In addition, the traditional notion that people need complete silence and a sterile environment in order to concentrate has recently come under fire. Various studies have shown that distractible students can actually attend better when they are given something to hold or touch. If you find that your child tends to fidget by touching objects around her, tapping her feet, or rocking in her chair, it's likely that she's craving sensory input.

Many children need this type of stimulation, especially when tasks are tedious or boring. Consider allowing your child to hold a stress ball or another fidget toy such as the Tangle Jr.

• Create a Clean Sweep

Organization is a major component of school success. In the beginning of the year nearly every student starts off being organized, but has a hard time maintaining this initial effort. You can help your child by establishing a 20 minute pre-arranged weekly maintenance session called the "Clean Sweep." During this time, your child will be responsible for organizing anything related to school, which includes cleaning out binders, folders, and backpack. Program this time into your smart phone and have your children do the same if they own a cell phone. Many families find that Sunday evening is an ideal time to prepare for the week ahead.

• Know How Much to Help

Knowing how much to help your child with schoolwork is perhaps the most important part of school success. With young children (K-3) there's more hand-holding. As students age the rule of thumb is to get them started, watch them do the first few problems to be sure they understand the material, then walk away. Sitting with your child while he does homework is not productive, and sends the message that he is incapable of doing the assignment. Remember, a parent's pen should never touch the paper. This is the child's homework. On the other hand, knowing when to provide support is equally as important. When you see your child struggling, by all means, intervene. Work with him until he's able to understand the content and then let him work on his own. When it comes to schoolwork, independence is one of the greatest gifts you can give your child.

• Stay the Course

In the beginning of the year, every parent starts out gung-ho, but then the daily check-ins on homework fade as the stress of fall sets in. If you have a fairly responsible child, this is generally just fine. It's likely you'll need to check in from time to time, but if you find your child is doing well without your help, don't intervene. If you have a roller coaster type of kid who starts out strong, fades without parental support and then kicks it into gear when you get involved once again, be careful not to follow that same pattern again this year. Continue to monitor homework completion regularly and step back ever so slightly, but not completely, after the first quarter.

Finally, remember that praise is a powerful tool, especially when it comes to homework. Research shows that by simply praising effort rather than intelligence, kids will develop greater motivation to keep trying, even when the going gets tough.

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Ann K. Dolin, M.Ed., is the founder and president of Educational Connections, Inc., a tutoring, test prep, and consulting company in Fairfax, VA and Bethesda, MD. In her new book, Homework Made Simple: Tips, Tools and Solutions for Stress-Free Homework, Dolin offers proven solutions to help the six key types of students who struggle with homework. Numerous examples and easy-to-implement, fun tips will help make homework less of a chore for the whole family. Learn more at anndolin.com or ectutoring.com.

Timely Tips for Grandparents

I occasionally have guest bloggers, as you know. I really liked this piece by Chloe Jon Paul and thought it would be useful for you all. Pat

Timely Tips for Grandparents

New census data reveals that 4.9 million children under the age of 18 live where grandparents are head of the household. If you are one of those grandparents, you may want to consider these tips as part of your action plan.

Communication
When a child/teenager misbehaves, try saying: “ I’m not angry – a bit disappointed, maybe because your behavior right now just isn’t matching the good person inside you. I know that good person exists and I want to see him (her) come out again.”
At the dinner table, ask: “What was the best part of your day?” You might also want to ask: “if there was one thing you could change about today, what would it be?”
If you receive a call from a teacher or school administrator about the student’s misbehavior in the classroom, respond with: “I’d like to be part of the solution and not the problem. Tell me what you need so we may discuss this further.”

Co-operation
Schedule a periodic family conference to review ground rules. You may even want to design a rating scale to show how well or poorly they are being followed. If the rating is low, ask the child what would need to be done to improve the rating.
You can turn clean-up time and homework into a game by playing Beat the Clock. Set the kitchen timer for one hour and if the child completes the task fully and successfully before the timer goes off, offer a small reward. My kids earned their TV time this way.

Creative Problem Solving
When a child makes a mistake, the best thing you can say is” “That was a perfect mistake for learning something new! Now, tell me what you would do differently the next time you find yourself in this situation.”
Role-play can also be a way to help a child solve a troubling problem. Switch roles with the child and act out a problem and see what happens!

As a grandparent raising grandchildren, you should be able to find support groups in your local area or on the Internet. In the meantime, you can try these tips – and you’ll be glad you did! The key to success here is consistency and practicing positive discipline.

Children need to be led gently but firmly in approaching the challenges they will face in life. You can be instrumental in this and it will be your legacy.

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Chloe Jon Paul, M.Ed., is a retired educator and writer of several published articles and a previous book entitled "What Happens Next: A Family Guide to Nursing Home Visits"

Since age 55 among her many accomplishments are the following:

• Fulbright Fellowship Seminars Abroad award to South Africa
• Ms. Maryland Senior America
• Volunteer internship during 2005 Maryland legislative session
• State representative for Alternatives to Violence Project
• Advisory board member: MD Healthcare Commission and Interagency Commission for Aging Services

Byte-Sized Parents Rule!

For several months I have wrestled with the idea of bringing back Parents Rule! radio show but was not sure what format to use. Radio was great fun and I miss it. But I began to think that it was hard for you all to find the time in your busy schedules to listen to an hour long radio show.

Voila! Why not bring Parents Rule! to You Tube? http://www.youtube.com/parentsrule1 That is more easily used by young parents who are constantly on the go. You Tube is on your iPads, laptops, iPods and smart phones. So now we are more readliy available and in small doses. Each segment on You Tube is going to be 5-20 minutes. I am aiming for an average of 10 minutes. You will still get all the advice, information, and encouragement that you loved from the radio show--just in shorter segments that fit into your schedule better.

And I get to make eye contact with you. I really like that part of the Parents Rule! video blog--feels like I can connect with you better. There will be times when I am speaking about a topic I feel strongly about and times when I have guest interviews--just like on the radio.

Today is my kick off, so tune in and let me know what you think. "Like" the videos that mean something to you. Feel free to comment whether you agree or disagree.

Join me--we are going to have fun with this http://www.youtube.com/parentsrule1

If We Take Obese Kids Out of Homes, Who is Next?

It is all over the news today. A couple of doctors at Harvard want the government to remove obese children from their homes, place them on foster care, and treat the obesity. Let me think, didn't I hear something else about Harvard researchers recently? Oh, yes, they think that only Republicans enjoy celebrating the founding of our country. But I digress.

So what do I think? Obviously childhood obesity is a serious issue. Seventeen percent of kids are obese; three times the rate of obesity thirty years ago. More kids are being diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes, high blood pressure, and high cholesterol than ever before. So yes, something must be done about this pending healthcare crisis.

Do I think it is a form of child abuse? Yes, but these parents don't realize that. In the majority of cases, you will find that they are raising their kids the same way they were raised. Are we not all guilty of that to some extent?

Is removing them from their homes a good idea? Absolutely not--and for many reasons:

• First of all, none of the articles I read this morning discussed the psychological effects this would have on the child. Now I am not a psychologist, but I am sure that many of these overwieght kids have some issues already--depression, low self esteem, and more. How does taking them away from the family unit, who they depend on and love, benefit them in that manner? What a traumatic event for that child.
• Putting them in foster homes is suggested as a solution. I know there are many wonderful foster parents out there, but I have heard so many horror stories of physical, mental, and sexual abuse that I have to question the wisdom of that move. So you move a depressed overweight, but loved child into a home in which they are put on a forced diet and possibly sexually abused--for their welfare? Hmmm.
• Do we have that many foster homes out there? The last I heard, the demand for foster homes was much greater than the supply already.
• What about the expense of adding that many more people that the government has to pay to care for?
• Another important reason to not resort to this forced removal from homes is: What is next? With Obamacare leading us down the path to socialized medicine, we better take a long look at the future. If we let the government start deciding who is a fit parent and who is not, where does that slippery slope lead? Trust me, don't trust the government. At some point they will be coming for your kids and putting them in re-training camps--for their weight, their level of exercise, their grades, the fact that they got caught smoking a cigarette, the fact that they drink sodas and eat chips and so forth. Am I paranoid? Perhaps, but remember, with socialized medicine you must control the actions of the public in order to afford the cost. So if kids can be, for want of a better term brainwashed, into good health practices, isn't that for the greater good? In my mind it is better not to peek into that Pandora's box.

So what can be done? There are many different ways to attack the problem:

• Remove all vending machines from schools. We didn't have them when I went to school and we survived just fine.
• Remove so many choices from school lunches and give them one entree, two vegetables, a desert (that could be fruit), and milk or water to drink. Give them healthy foods instead of so many choices and wasted food at the end of the day.
• Reinstate physical education in schools so that kids have it every day K through 12.
• Government money could be spent helping dieticians and physicians provide low or no cost dietary classes for families with identified obesity issues. If the whole family attends and learns, then they may be able to make the changes necessary for their health.
• Health educational classes for families of obesity to help them understand the consequences their child will face due to the obesity.
• Encourage more towns to have community gardens for families so they could grow their own healthy foods. The garden plots could be leased on a pro-rated sliding scale based on income.
• Free classes on gardening for those who would be interested in growing their own foods. Many poor people cannot afford organic foods, but might grow their own.

I could keep going; there are so many potential solutions. Bottomline is that you can only help people who want help. But there should be services that can help those that truly want it.

Dr. David Orentlicher, co-director of Hall Center for Law and Health at Indiana University of School Law said in an interview with ABC news, "Sometimes it is easier to take a child out of the home than take the time and resources to provide the right solution to the problem." I am saying that we need to get this right--for the kids, the families, our economy, and our future as a free nation.

Stop The Fighting at Kid's Ballgames Right Now!

I just saw an article on the internet about a fight at a ballgame in which 12 yr. olds were playing. Here is the link:
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/43715655/ns/us_news-crime_and_courts/?GT1=43001

This type of thing absolutely drives me crazy. What are these people thinking? Attacking each other over an umpire's call? Really? Umpires are just people who love kids, are out there to have fun and make a few extra bucks. They do not have the benefit of instant replay. They are not perfect.

If the two boys got in a fight over the call, then the parents failed to teach them sportsmanship many years ago when they first started playing baseball. And they exacerbated that failure by joining in the fight. What a sad day in the lives of those kids and parents!

I definitely have a competitive streak in me. And I have complained about a call loudly enough for the umpire to have no doubt where I stood. But I stayed in my seat, let it pass, and moved on to the next thing happening on the field.

Let's teach our kids that no one is perfect--not the umpires, not them, not us. Teach them that they will get as many calls their way as against them over the course of a season. Teach them that winning is a good thing, but being a gracious loser is where true character is born. By loser, I mean losing a game, a call, or anything else that in the grand scheme of life doesn't mean much.

Of course, I believe in competing to the best of one's ability. I completely disagree with not keeping score in sports. But one of the things our kids need to learn in sports is not only to try to be the best they can be, but that sometimes, someone else is better or luckier. That is just the way it goes. The test of their character is how they handle both winning and losing.

I want parents to stop this nonsense of fighting at their kids' games right now. Please. For the sake of your children--think about what you are teaching them.

Harvard's 4th of July Study Unncessarily Divisive

Last week, Harvard released a study that made me scratch my head and think about the results. "Fourth of July celebrations in the United States shape the nation's political landscape by forming beliefs and increasing participation, primarily in favor of the Republican Party," said the report from Harvard, according to a report published by US News and World Report.

What in the world? This country is great because we have diversity of people and diversity of opinion. While I personally believe that there are some vocal people out there who do not have the best interest of the US at heart (instead, they have their own best interest--and it occurs in all political parties), the vast majority of us love our homeland. We just have very different views on what is the best course of action and differences in interpretation of our founding documents. Those differences in ideas are where the fresh ideas come from--from discussion and compromise.

As far as this study, who was studied? How were the questions developed? I can create a questionaire to make the Pope sound like he doesn't believe in God if I want. So, was there an ulterior motive to this study at this place and time? In a time when we have so much division in our country, do we need anything else to further divide us?

I don't believe so. I think this holiday, more than any other we celebrate should be a unifying experience as people all over the country remember the struggle to create a land of liberty, the likes of which had never before been seen. We can appreciate the fact that we are having picnics and watching fireworks united in our love for the opportunities we have. We are grateful that it is our choice to be there--we are not forced to participate or persecuted because we do by an oppresive government.

So what does this have to do with parenting? As I have been saying for a while now, parents need to take the lead in teaching your children about this country's blessings. Get out and celebrate this weekend, enjoy each other, and spend a little time explaining to your kids about why it is good to have respectful dialouge with others who may not agree with all of your own beliefs. Teach your kids that is one of the distinct benefits of living in a free country; it is how every person can be represented.

Happy Birthday, USA! Long may you live!

The Business of Children

To my readers: This week I have a guest blog interview who had written a fictional novel. However, it is based on factual events from her experiences as a teacher. Her name is Chloe Jon Paul and the book is " The Business of Children." As always, the opinions shared by the guest blogger are her own and not necessarily shared by me. Having said that, she does make some excellent points that parents can benefit from!

Questions:
1. What is the #1 issue facing schools today?
The #1 issue, I feel, is all the bureaucratic nonsense that nail teachers to the wall – not allowing them to be creative. The pressure put on teachers to “teach to the test” is what caused me to take an early retirement. In conjunction with that is the lack of administrative support when there is a problem with a student. Lack of teacher respect, bullying, and other issues compound the problem.

2. What can be done to resolve that issue?
I strongly believe that teachers have to continue their fight with teacher union activism, sending a clear message that they deserve better.

3. Should kids that need extra help be mainstreamed into regular classrooms?
No, I think it does more harm than good. While they are out of their regular class, they are missing the kind of instruction they really need. When they enter the regular classroom, everyone knows why they are there. I believe that regular classroom teachers can collaborate with special needs teachers to combine classes on a regular basis for some special instruction. I used to do this all the time and worked marvelously well.

4. How does that affect a. their learning in the classroom and b. the learning of other kids in the classroom?
I don’t think that much real learning does take place. Behavior problems do disrupt other kids and resentment on their part builds up.

5. There are a lot people who feel it is now better to put kids into private schools, what is your opinion? Can public schools still do the job well?
If one can afford to place one’s child in private school, then – yes, it would be better. Home schooling has increased significantly in the last few years. My own daughter home-schooled both her boys. Now, at age 14 and 16, they are both in college.
In the city where I live, home schooling is very big because the public school system here leaves much to be desired.

6. If parents could do one thing to help their kids succeed in school, what would that be?
Ah! If only people would heed my words! They must be willing to do what I did when my 2 children were growing up.

So, in a nutshell, here it is:
-One TV, record player, telephone in the house – nothing ever in their rooms!
-Dinner together every night with conversation about their day.
-Earning TV time by signing up for chores. Eventually, I allowed them to trade their TV time credits into cash.
-Making sure that they read quality books and show interest in the world around them by engaging in some kind of volunteer work.
*** I must have done something right because both my children are successful adults. They both have Master’s degrees and do interesting work in their respective fields.

7. Based on your experience, what is the a. most negative change you have seen in schools and b. the most positive change you have seen over the years?
The most negative change, as far as I’m concerned, is the emphasis put on assessment tests. Frankly, I can’t say that I’ve seen positive change.

8. How are the rookie teachers today different that when you began your career?
I think rookie teachers are savvier and they have the ability to network with other teachers worldwide through the many groups on the Internet – something we didn’t have years ago. They have instant access to oodles of information that took hours to research years ago.

9. Why did you write this book?
I wrote the book back in the early 90’s when I took a leave of absence from my teaching position. I wrote it because I felt it would be therapeutic for me to record some of my experiences but I didn’t want it to be a memoir. I had just finished a very bad year at the school where I was assigned and I seriously considered quitting altogether. Fortunately, I decided on a leave of absence without pay and went to stay with a dear friend in Maine where I had done the best teaching of my entire career. I actually trashed the book after I finished writing it, figuring that it had helped relieve some of the tension. My friend, however, retrieved it saying, “You are NOT throwing this away!” So I shelved it and went on to other writing projects which resulted in 2 other published works – non-fiction: What Happens Next? A Family Guide to Nursing Home Visits…and More

Entering the Age of Elegance: A Rite of Passage & Practical Guide for the Modern Maturing Woman

10. Why did you choose to write it in fiction?
I had always wanted to write fiction and I figured that the experiences I had had through the years, especially as a union activist, could lend credibility to the story. The characters are not real people that I ever knew or worked with although some of their characteristics could be considered a composite of several different people I encountered in my 35 years of teaching. Some people have asked if I’m Vera or Deidre and I must admit that there is probably a little of me in both of them. JJ
When writing fiction, an author must really get inside that character’s skin – think, talk, and act like they would. This is especially challenging when the character is male and you’re a female author. Some of the language at times may be a bit coarse. I don’t use that kind of language personally but I know that some friends will read the book and exclaim,” Chloe wrote that?!?
Most people aren’t going to sit down to read a heavy document explaining the ills of education but a novel that portrays those very ills can be a real eye-opener!

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About the Author:
Chloe Jon Paul, M.Ed., is a retired educator and writer of several published articles and a previous book entitled "What Happens Next: A Family Guide to Nursing Home Visits" and More... State representative for the National Family Caregivers Association's caregiver community action network 2006-2008; Advisory board member: MD, Healthcare Commission and the Interagency Commission for Aging Services: Maryland Dept. of Aging; Hospice and homeless shelter volunteer.