The Cost of Cyberbullying

She was not just my sister, she was my best friend. We would do a lot of things together, and I loved that. I miss that so much today. All I have now is a big, black hole where my heart was. Because my little sister is gone, I won't be able to see her anymore--no more trips to the mall, no more smiles, hugs, late movie nights, nothing. It's gone. How can someone ever get that back?"
By Peyton Neblett, sister of Rachel Neblett who committed suicide because of cyberstalking

I pray that none of you ever have to say those words about your child. This is a problem we can do something about. For one thing, we can teach our kids coping skills for when bad things happen to them.

I read an article recently that claimed that there are more and more teens and young adults being put on anti-depressant meds because they have not learned to cope with adversity. How sad! Mom and Dad have protected them and sheltered them and fought their battles their whole lives. While as parents we want our kids to never be hurt and we vow to never let anything bad happen to them, it cannot and should not be prevented completely.

Instead of holding them up, we have to let them fall while they are learning to walk. Our kids need to know they can fall, or be pushed down, and get back up by themselves. Our job is to guide them and give them support when they need it. Mean things will be said about them or they will have their heart broken. We cannot stop that, but we can cry with them and let them know that life will go on. We have to find a way, through words and example, to teach life survival skills.

Another thing we can do is to teach our kids to respect others. It is surprising to me how often this vital lesson is overlooked. When I was growing up, I was taught that my rights ended when they infringed on someone else's. I remember my dad telling me that my right to free speech ends when I use it to intentionally hurt someone else. Our children will not respect themselves if they do not respect others.

Children who are taught to respect others will be the ones who stand up for the underdog, rather than abuse him or her. We need to be sure our kids understand that there is more strength and power in standing for right than bending for pressure.

I recently did a radio with Patricia Agatston, who co-authored the book, Cyberbullying: Bullying in the Digital Age. She had so much information and help. You can find out more about bullying and cyberbullying at http://www.cyberbullyhelp.com .

Remember, these kids will be adults one day and will have to live in world that does not revolve around them. We need to prepare them for this world.

Cyber Bullying--a deadly threat to our children!

My son was an early casualty and his death an early warning to our society that we’d better pay close attention to how our children use technology. We need to study this new societal problem with a sense of urgency and great diligence. We must also be swift and deliberate in our law making and social policy development when it comes to protecting our youth from the misuse of technology against them and amongst them.
John Halligan, Ryan’s Dad (http://www.ryanpatrickhalligan.org/); from the foreword for the book, Cyber Bullying: Bullying in the Digital Age by Robin Kowalkski, Ph.D, Susan Limber, Ph.D, and Patti Agatston, Ph.D (http://www.cyberbullyhelp.com/)


Technology is a wonderful thing. The advancements just in my life time have been incredible. Think about my grandmother who was born in the late 1800’s and lived to see man walk on the moon. What will our children see? What will they do? There are so many good things in store for them.

However, as with anything, technology has its down sides. Parents, you must be diligent in keeping up with the technology our children are using. Instilling good values is paramount during this age when an immature child can send a negative message about someone they are mad at to the entire world. That immaturity does not allow him to understand the ramifications of what he has done.

She does not realize that what she has done could change the course of the other person’s life. In my day, a small rumor may have been spread about someone but it did not go very far. It stayed in a select group and could be disproved. Such is not the case nowadays.

And what if your child is the victim? How do you react? How do you help?

All I can say is that we need to go back to the Golden Rule and teach our children how to live a life in which they understand and practice right from wrong. Teach them appropriate ways to vent frustrations and handle disputes. Know what is happening in your child's life online--there should be no sites they go to that you are locked out of. You need, more than any time in history to have good communication with your kids. Laws are needed that protect us but do not intrude on individual rights.

It is not a time to step back and let someone else raise your kids! Be involved. I pray none of you ever have to go through what Mr. Halligan had to endure.