You're the best part of me
The best that I am
Or ever will be
You, baby, you're the part
That allows me to open my heart
And let love inside
I want you to know
What I've always known
You're the best part of me.
from the song, You Are The Best Part of Me. Sung by Neil Diamond
Working in my office this morning, I had Neil Diamond music on in the background. I found myself listening to the words of this song and my mind drifted to my children. Memories of childhoods, pranks, talks, activities, and more popped into my consciousness.
I remembered times when my marriage was going bad, or when it was simply gone, and loneliness engulfed me. You, my children, were there for me. You gave me unasked for hugs, sticky kisses, and unconditional love. Even now, so many years later, the joy of that love makes me warm. You could not have known the pain I was in, but you soothed me.
And you kept me grounded and moving. There was never time to wallow in self-pity or spend weeks in bed. There were lunches to make and bottoms to wipe. There were games and practices to attend and hair to brush. Day by day, you kept me busy and I healed. You were the medicine that made me whole again.
Everyday you made me lots of things--tired, happy, frustrated, proud. But mostly you made me smile and laugh, even when I thought I would never smile and laugh again. When I felt unloveable and unable to love, you would show me that I could love because I loved you all so much. Your boundless love made me realize that I was loveable. Who needed therapy when I had you all?
I see you all now and realize that there are a few scars from your childhoods, and for that I am sorry. But mostly I see warm, caring adults who are better than I ever was at your ages. I see people who are making this world a more wonderful place, one person at a time. Sometimes, I marvel at the fact that you came from my body and wonder how that could be.
Truly, you are the best part of me.
Showing posts with label children. Show all posts
Showing posts with label children. Show all posts
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
How much reality do our kids need?
On Fox News the other day I saw a short segment about the pros and cons of a new American Girl doll. The back story on this on is that she was homeless. If you missed it, here is the link:
http://blog.parentinggirls.com/2009/09/video-homeless-doll-debate-on-foxnews.html.
What do you think?
Now, to be fair, the doll does have a happy ending in which her mommy gets a job and a house. But, seriously, is this what we want for our kids? Little girls that are playing with these dolls are very young, mostly 4-8 years old. Why do we want them to have that much reality forced on them at that age?
I thought dolls were for play rather than for social statements. Little girls play with dolls and mimic their own lives. It is a way for them learn about becoming an adult and dealing with issues in their own lives. Adding a homeless story to a small child that is not homeless can create all kinds of questions and fears that child is not prepared for at such a tender age.
Why do our babies have to know that ugliness and pain exist? Can't they just be innocent for a few years? Can't they just play with their dolls and have tea parties and pretend to be a puppy or a pilot? Can't they just be little?
There is plenty of time for kids to experience the negative things in the world. Why do we have to explain homelessness, drug addiction, mental illnesses, losing a job, and all these things involve to a 5 year old? What purpose does that serve?
It will frighten a child. I know I would have been afraid that I would end up homeless. That is not play. It is forcing our children to lose what little innocence we have not already taken away from them. Very sad!
http://blog.parentinggirls.com/2009/09/video-homeless-doll-debate-on-foxnews.html.
What do you think?
Now, to be fair, the doll does have a happy ending in which her mommy gets a job and a house. But, seriously, is this what we want for our kids? Little girls that are playing with these dolls are very young, mostly 4-8 years old. Why do we want them to have that much reality forced on them at that age?
I thought dolls were for play rather than for social statements. Little girls play with dolls and mimic their own lives. It is a way for them learn about becoming an adult and dealing with issues in their own lives. Adding a homeless story to a small child that is not homeless can create all kinds of questions and fears that child is not prepared for at such a tender age.
Why do our babies have to know that ugliness and pain exist? Can't they just be innocent for a few years? Can't they just play with their dolls and have tea parties and pretend to be a puppy or a pilot? Can't they just be little?
There is plenty of time for kids to experience the negative things in the world. Why do we have to explain homelessness, drug addiction, mental illnesses, losing a job, and all these things involve to a 5 year old? What purpose does that serve?
It will frighten a child. I know I would have been afraid that I would end up homeless. That is not play. It is forcing our children to lose what little innocence we have not already taken away from them. Very sad!
Friday, February 6, 2009
"Cop Farts" for breakfast
Ok. Here I am at my daughter's house while she is in Hawaii. If that is not bad enough, I have her two toddlers. OMG! I forgot so many things...not the least of which is "what can I get these kids to eat?" The older one said this morning that he wanted "cop farts" for breakfast. Somehow, I am sure that is not really want he wants. Besides, my daughter did not tell me anything about those in the notes she left for me.
Obviously my brain is fried from lack of sleep. Looking back to dinner last night, I remembered that you have to make some hard choices nutrition-wise. So I gave the meat eater his brother's meat loat (which really disappointed the dog waiting for the next bite to be thrown from the high chair.) And I gave the vegetable eater his brother's acorn squash.
Sometimes it just boils down to quiet... and getting them to eat something without a big battle. Luckily I did get them both to eat some corn and peas--of course there was some bribery involved with the meat-eater. But it all worked out okay.
It is important to encourage children to eat a balanced meal. But sometimes it just isn't going to happen. They are little individuals and have their own likes and dislikes. So I will keep trying to offer nutritious meals.
But, as a grandmom, my main goal is that they do not starve until their parents some home.
Obviously my brain is fried from lack of sleep. Looking back to dinner last night, I remembered that you have to make some hard choices nutrition-wise. So I gave the meat eater his brother's meat loat (which really disappointed the dog waiting for the next bite to be thrown from the high chair.) And I gave the vegetable eater his brother's acorn squash.
Sometimes it just boils down to quiet... and getting them to eat something without a big battle. Luckily I did get them both to eat some corn and peas--of course there was some bribery involved with the meat-eater. But it all worked out okay.
It is important to encourage children to eat a balanced meal. But sometimes it just isn't going to happen. They are little individuals and have their own likes and dislikes. So I will keep trying to offer nutritious meals.
But, as a grandmom, my main goal is that they do not starve until their parents some home.
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
What Else I Know for Sure About Parenting
Children learn more from what you say than what you do!
Or at least as much. If you don't believe me, just listen to a little girl playing with her dolls. She will treat them the same way you treat her and say the same things. It is very eye opening! I can see that my kids picked up some good habits and some bad habits of mine.
Watch your children closely. You will see yourself in them in how they treat each other, how they communicate with their friends and, how much respect they show you.
If you treat others with respect, your child will see that and do the same. That is especially true if you also reinforce it with telling them why you do that. It is not necessary to lecture them on why they should do it. Kids are smart little copycats and they want to be just like you.
Have respect for yourself and expect others to treat you the same way. If you are in a relationship in which you are disrespected, get out. You are teaching dangerous lessons to your children. It does not matter how often you tell your little girl to not ever let someone treat her like that. The odds are that she will--because you have taught her that women do not have to be treated with honor.
No matter how many times you tell your little boy that the way you are being treated is no way to treat women, he has learned another lesson. He has learned that you do not really care if you are respected or not. And he has learned to treat other women the same way.
Another point to mention is about money. If you are frugal and teach good money management to your children as they watch you manage your finances carefully, they will have been taught a valuable lesson that will help them to be more financially secure in their life.
However, if you are always living paycheck to paycheck, spending more than you have (like the Federal Government), and always stressing about money--expect your kids to grow up and follow the same pattern. That child will have a very hard time finding financial security.
So many other examples are out there. Bottomline, just be careful what your children see you do and how you react to various situations. It truly does rub off on them.
Or at least as much. If you don't believe me, just listen to a little girl playing with her dolls. She will treat them the same way you treat her and say the same things. It is very eye opening! I can see that my kids picked up some good habits and some bad habits of mine.
Watch your children closely. You will see yourself in them in how they treat each other, how they communicate with their friends and, how much respect they show you.
If you treat others with respect, your child will see that and do the same. That is especially true if you also reinforce it with telling them why you do that. It is not necessary to lecture them on why they should do it. Kids are smart little copycats and they want to be just like you.
Have respect for yourself and expect others to treat you the same way. If you are in a relationship in which you are disrespected, get out. You are teaching dangerous lessons to your children. It does not matter how often you tell your little girl to not ever let someone treat her like that. The odds are that she will--because you have taught her that women do not have to be treated with honor.
No matter how many times you tell your little boy that the way you are being treated is no way to treat women, he has learned another lesson. He has learned that you do not really care if you are respected or not. And he has learned to treat other women the same way.
Another point to mention is about money. If you are frugal and teach good money management to your children as they watch you manage your finances carefully, they will have been taught a valuable lesson that will help them to be more financially secure in their life.
However, if you are always living paycheck to paycheck, spending more than you have (like the Federal Government), and always stressing about money--expect your kids to grow up and follow the same pattern. That child will have a very hard time finding financial security.
So many other examples are out there. Bottomline, just be careful what your children see you do and how you react to various situations. It truly does rub off on them.
Thursday, January 8, 2009
Let's Give Our Kids to Congress to Raise...
I join with Neal Boortz, radio talk show host, in saying "Give me a freakin' break." On Neal's Nuze today is a story about a Republican from Utah who wants restaurants to build a barrier so bartenders and alcohol cannot be seen by children in the restaurants. http://boortz.com/nealz_nuze/2009/01/dont-let-the-children-see-alco.html http://boortz.com/blogging/mt-tb.cgi/17344
It is so tiring for government officials to keep trying to take on parenting roles and remove those roles from parents! Maybe we should all go to Congress and drop off all our kids. We could tell the legislators that if they want to parent our kids, here they are! I wonder how quick some of this legislation would go away?
In this time of bad economy and war, don't they have bigger fish to fry? They need to stop dealing with these petty issues and actually deal with the hard issues thay they have spent the past year avoiding.
Parents should be the ones who teach their children about alcohol. Parents should explain about drinking, especially underage drinking. Parents should institute and enforce their own rules about said alcohol. And if parents don't want their kids to see alcohol, they should only eat in restaurants that do not serve it.
It is up to parents, not the government!
It is so tiring for government officials to keep trying to take on parenting roles and remove those roles from parents! Maybe we should all go to Congress and drop off all our kids. We could tell the legislators that if they want to parent our kids, here they are! I wonder how quick some of this legislation would go away?
In this time of bad economy and war, don't they have bigger fish to fry? They need to stop dealing with these petty issues and actually deal with the hard issues thay they have spent the past year avoiding.
Parents should be the ones who teach their children about alcohol. Parents should explain about drinking, especially underage drinking. Parents should institute and enforce their own rules about said alcohol. And if parents don't want their kids to see alcohol, they should only eat in restaurants that do not serve it.
It is up to parents, not the government!
Tuesday, January 8, 2008
I refuse to apologize...
to my children if I want to spend time with you. I refuse to apologize for having my feelings hurt when I am not included in something in your life. Or for occasionally (really, you have to admit I am pretty good about this) giving you an opinion about something you said or did that you neither requested or appreciated.
Why do I refuse to apologize? Because I have earned the right to do those things and be forgiven. I have earned the right by:
Why do I refuse to apologize? Because I have earned the right to do those things and be forgiven. I have earned the right by:
- Walking the halls all night with a col icy baby
- Using those nasty cloth diapers because you were allergic to disposables and having to wash them out in the toilet before putting them in the diaper pail
- All the times I hemorrhaged from the finger sticks I got from diaper pins
- Crying and feeling like I failed you every time I had to paddle your padded behinds--here I thought I was sending you to your room to think about what you did wrong and to feel bad. Later I find out it was only a great chance for you to pad your underwear.
- Hours in the car hauling your butts from here to yon; not to mention bringing the friends along
- More hours listening to a 3 year old say "guess what?" 600 times a day.
- Letting you live when you were 3 and flipped me off
- Listening to three toddlers squeal "MINE!!!!" about 500 times a day for approximately 6 years
- The times I had to resort to yelling that you will not be allowed touch each other again in your whole lives if you whine "he touched me" one more time today in the car
- Putting out the fire you started in the backyard
- Digging up, cleaning up, and giving new life to all the GI Joe figurines that "died in battle and had to be buried."
Do I need to go on? This is only a partial list of the reasons why you need to give a break sometimes. Just shake your head and remind your self that, yes, I am a crazy old woman. Just remember it is you who made me that way.
Thursday, December 13, 2007
Thanks for making me a Mom
You have given me the job I never weary of,
The name I will never change nor give to another.
You have made me the person I wish to be remembered as.
You have made me Mother.
For you have brought more joy then I knew existed.
You have filled my heart with song.
You have brought me to the one place
Where I know I belong.
Debra Shiveley Welch (http://www.debrashiveleywelch.net/)
All mothers know this feeling. It is expressed so well in these words. We become mothers in many ways: easily through a natural process, with difficulty conceiving, with difficult pregnancies, through adoption, through marriage. However you become a mother, it is the most wonderful thing.
You cannot imagine beforehand the amount of joy and love you can feel. It is indescribable. When you have moments—and you will—when you say what was I thinking?? I can’t do this. Remember the love and joy. Imprint those on your heart. Keep them close and you can do it. You will have all the skills and support you need.
Even when I was angry with them or scared I would not do a good job, I always was grateful to God for giving me the children I have seen grow into amazing adults. They blessed my life beyond measure and yours will too.
The name I will never change nor give to another.
You have made me the person I wish to be remembered as.
You have made me Mother.
For you have brought more joy then I knew existed.
You have filled my heart with song.
You have brought me to the one place
Where I know I belong.
Debra Shiveley Welch (http://www.debrashiveleywelch.net/)
All mothers know this feeling. It is expressed so well in these words. We become mothers in many ways: easily through a natural process, with difficulty conceiving, with difficult pregnancies, through adoption, through marriage. However you become a mother, it is the most wonderful thing.
You cannot imagine beforehand the amount of joy and love you can feel. It is indescribable. When you have moments—and you will—when you say what was I thinking?? I can’t do this. Remember the love and joy. Imprint those on your heart. Keep them close and you can do it. You will have all the skills and support you need.
Even when I was angry with them or scared I would not do a good job, I always was grateful to God for giving me the children I have seen grow into amazing adults. They blessed my life beyond measure and yours will too.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
