Today I am donating money to an organization that will aid in relief efforts in devastated Haiti. I am challenging you to join me.
Yesterday I heard a story on the radio. It was by phone from someone on the ground in Haiti. He described standing in the road as a screaming woman ran up to him. She was begging for help for the small bundle she carried in her arms--her baby. A piece of cloth covered the baby's head; a scene not to unusual due to the amount of dust around them. When he lifted the material he realized that the baby's face was gone--completely gone--and the baby was dead. He assisted in getting the woman to someone who could help her, but I am sure that scene will be forever played out in his mind.
I heard another story of a mom who lost all five of her children in the earthquake. It is time, as parents, we stand up to help other parents in these desparate conditions. Americans are the most generous and loving people in the world. We are always the ones who step up the most to help. Let us not let the Haitian people down--not because we will get something out of it, but because it is the right thing to do.
Who is with me? Go to www.redcross.org or www.care.org or any other legitimate charity and give whatever you can afford.
Showing posts with label parents. Show all posts
Showing posts with label parents. Show all posts
Friday, January 15, 2010
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Merry Christmas, Mom
In 1997 my mom left this world to begin her work in the Universe. This time of year I really miss her. Mom and I did not always see eye to eye on much, but she always made Christmas special for the whole family. Every year she had something new to share--a new craft decoration project or a new Christmas dessert to try.
I remember one year she took the turkey skeleton from Thanksgiving and somehow made it into a sleigh. It astounds me to think of the hours she must have spent getting every little bit of turkey meat and gristle off that carcass. It was then painted gold and decorated with a stuffed Santa and beads, then place on fake snow. She even had little reindeer attached to the sleigh. It was beautiful.
One year the new dessert was Pumpkin Cookies. They were wonderful and instantly became a new family tradition. Now I bake the Pumpkin Cookies, but am thrilled to see my children now fixing them too. As each generation enjoys those cookies, a bit of my mom is there with them.
As a child there was always something special I had asked Santa to bring me waiting under the tree on Christmas morning. And when I had kids of my own, there were times when I either could not find or could not afford something I knew the kids especially wanted. But they always found that special present under the tree at Grandma's house. Sometimes I don't remember that I even told her what to buy, but it was there just the same.
She loved holidays, but Christmas was special to her. She was happiest during the Season. The aroma of baking filled her kitchen for weeks and she would sing as she decorated the house. No strife was ever permitted--if we fought, we were instantly reminded about the baby Jesus and how he came to bring peace to the world. There were no differences of opinion or arguing--just good old fashioned family unity and fun.
Yes, I miss her the most during Christmas. But I know she is with us, sharing the joy of the season and of our growing family.
Merry Christmas, Mom! I love you. And Merry Christmas to all of you.
I remember one year she took the turkey skeleton from Thanksgiving and somehow made it into a sleigh. It astounds me to think of the hours she must have spent getting every little bit of turkey meat and gristle off that carcass. It was then painted gold and decorated with a stuffed Santa and beads, then place on fake snow. She even had little reindeer attached to the sleigh. It was beautiful.
One year the new dessert was Pumpkin Cookies. They were wonderful and instantly became a new family tradition. Now I bake the Pumpkin Cookies, but am thrilled to see my children now fixing them too. As each generation enjoys those cookies, a bit of my mom is there with them.
As a child there was always something special I had asked Santa to bring me waiting under the tree on Christmas morning. And when I had kids of my own, there were times when I either could not find or could not afford something I knew the kids especially wanted. But they always found that special present under the tree at Grandma's house. Sometimes I don't remember that I even told her what to buy, but it was there just the same.
She loved holidays, but Christmas was special to her. She was happiest during the Season. The aroma of baking filled her kitchen for weeks and she would sing as she decorated the house. No strife was ever permitted--if we fought, we were instantly reminded about the baby Jesus and how he came to bring peace to the world. There were no differences of opinion or arguing--just good old fashioned family unity and fun.
Yes, I miss her the most during Christmas. But I know she is with us, sharing the joy of the season and of our growing family.
Merry Christmas, Mom! I love you. And Merry Christmas to all of you.
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
The Best Part of Me
You're the best part of me
The best that I am
Or ever will be
You, baby, you're the part
That allows me to open my heart
And let love inside
I want you to know
What I've always known
You're the best part of me.
from the song, You Are The Best Part of Me. Sung by Neil Diamond
Working in my office this morning, I had Neil Diamond music on in the background. I found myself listening to the words of this song and my mind drifted to my children. Memories of childhoods, pranks, talks, activities, and more popped into my consciousness.
I remembered times when my marriage was going bad, or when it was simply gone, and loneliness engulfed me. You, my children, were there for me. You gave me unasked for hugs, sticky kisses, and unconditional love. Even now, so many years later, the joy of that love makes me warm. You could not have known the pain I was in, but you soothed me.
And you kept me grounded and moving. There was never time to wallow in self-pity or spend weeks in bed. There were lunches to make and bottoms to wipe. There were games and practices to attend and hair to brush. Day by day, you kept me busy and I healed. You were the medicine that made me whole again.
Everyday you made me lots of things--tired, happy, frustrated, proud. But mostly you made me smile and laugh, even when I thought I would never smile and laugh again. When I felt unloveable and unable to love, you would show me that I could love because I loved you all so much. Your boundless love made me realize that I was loveable. Who needed therapy when I had you all?
I see you all now and realize that there are a few scars from your childhoods, and for that I am sorry. But mostly I see warm, caring adults who are better than I ever was at your ages. I see people who are making this world a more wonderful place, one person at a time. Sometimes, I marvel at the fact that you came from my body and wonder how that could be.
Truly, you are the best part of me.
The best that I am
Or ever will be
You, baby, you're the part
That allows me to open my heart
And let love inside
I want you to know
What I've always known
You're the best part of me.
from the song, You Are The Best Part of Me. Sung by Neil Diamond
Working in my office this morning, I had Neil Diamond music on in the background. I found myself listening to the words of this song and my mind drifted to my children. Memories of childhoods, pranks, talks, activities, and more popped into my consciousness.
I remembered times when my marriage was going bad, or when it was simply gone, and loneliness engulfed me. You, my children, were there for me. You gave me unasked for hugs, sticky kisses, and unconditional love. Even now, so many years later, the joy of that love makes me warm. You could not have known the pain I was in, but you soothed me.
And you kept me grounded and moving. There was never time to wallow in self-pity or spend weeks in bed. There were lunches to make and bottoms to wipe. There were games and practices to attend and hair to brush. Day by day, you kept me busy and I healed. You were the medicine that made me whole again.
Everyday you made me lots of things--tired, happy, frustrated, proud. But mostly you made me smile and laugh, even when I thought I would never smile and laugh again. When I felt unloveable and unable to love, you would show me that I could love because I loved you all so much. Your boundless love made me realize that I was loveable. Who needed therapy when I had you all?
I see you all now and realize that there are a few scars from your childhoods, and for that I am sorry. But mostly I see warm, caring adults who are better than I ever was at your ages. I see people who are making this world a more wonderful place, one person at a time. Sometimes, I marvel at the fact that you came from my body and wonder how that could be.
Truly, you are the best part of me.
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Parenting Lessons from Ted Kennedy
First let me say that I am on a way different political spectrum from Ted Kennedy and he continually pissed me off while he was in the Senate. Having said that, as I watched the TV spectacle over his demise, it was evident to me that his actions could be used to inspire others to become better parents.
What are you talking about Pat? You just said you disagreed with the guy. Yes, but like everyone else, he had his good points also. So here is my list of How to be a Better Parent, Thanks to Ted Kennedy:
What are you talking about Pat? You just said you disagreed with the guy. Yes, but like everyone else, he had his good points also. So here is my list of How to be a Better Parent, Thanks to Ted Kennedy:
- Be there with your kids. Ted, having lost 3 brothers, took up the slack and became a surrogate dad for all of his nieces and nephews, as well as being a dad to his own kids. Over and over this past week I heard about how he was at every birthday, every graduation, every recital, every everything that was important to all these kids. It is impressive when a person can do that for their own kids, but add in a bunch of others and it is an impressive record. Just the fact that it was mentioned frequently showed how much it meant to all of the kids.
- Have special times with your kids. Each member of Kennedy clan can tell a story about how he went out of his way for them or made them feel special in some way. Can your kids say that about you?
- Instill patriotism in your kids. Several stories were told about how Ted told patriotic stories and read patriotic poems to the kids at various times throughout the year. Although he and I disagreed about what in the best interest of this country, it is apparent that he loved it. He displayed that love to all "his" kids.
- Make learning US history fun. This ties into the previous point. Ted organized a big day trip every year for the entire Kennedy clan. Well, it was his idea--I am sure his staff did the actual organizing. But they all went somewhere every year to learn about our history--battlefields, museums, tours, etc. What a great time for the whole family and they learned something in the meantime. Great idea!
- Teach perserverance. Many of the stories about Ted Kennedy desribed his determination to achieve his goals. Whether it was trying get a piece of legislation passed or winning a saliboat race, he did not give up. Setbacks would occur and he kept trudging ahead. With that attitude, you will win some and lose some, but the wins will far exceed the losses. And he modeled that in words and deeds to the young Kennedys who were watching him.
- Tolerance should be a lifestyle. Understand that others may not agree with you. I heard some Republican leaders tell stories about how he would argue them blue about a topic of discussion. Then he would find a way to create an atmosphere in which a compromise could be achieved. Or, if they were still to disagree, he did not let it interfere with a friendship. When bitterness creeps into differing opinions then no good can come from it. It is only with an open mind that important changes can be made. For instance, the best legislation from our Congress has always been a bi-partisan effort. In that all the needs of all the people have been addressed. That cannot happen when our elected officials stick to partisanship instead of tolerance and understanding and a desire for the greater good.
- Be a friend. This is such an important lesson for parents to teach kids, especially when we may not be the best example. But Ted Kennedy knew how to be a friend. Tale after tale was told about how when this person was going through surgery, Ted was the first person to call. Or how when that person lost a loved one, Ted was the first to be there at the door to offer a hug and a word of condolence. Many stories were told about him doing those things in the last year, as he was so ill himself. Children see these actions and will either learn from them or from their absence.
- Family is the most important thing in our lives. The whole Kennedy clan is an example of this, as are many families throughout our country. We see that with the Jackson family--throughout all of Michael's issues, the family stood together. My ex-husband's family in Tennessee is one of the best examples of family love I have ever seen. The Hawkins family members understand that they are blood--a bond that cannot be broken. No matter what happens, good or bad, they are always a family. If there are squabbles, (and what family doesn't have them?) they don't hold grudges and they find a way to bring understanding and peace. God forbid anything bad happen to any one in that type of family, but if it does, they come together in a united front to defeat the enemy--person, disease, situation, or whatever. It is so freeing to know that no matter what you do, you cannot lose the love and support of the family. Even when my ex and I split up, they made sure I knew that I was still a welcome member of that family and have had close ties to them over the years that we have been divorced. It is that unity that I saw in the Kennedys. And I hope you have the blessing of that kind of family. If not, it is not too late to start.
Trust me, I am not going to apply for his cannonization. He had plenty of warts and errors in his life--as do we all. But I see some traits in the man that I could admire--traits that will make our kids better adults and better citizens in this wonderful country we all love.
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Yea, Obama!
As most of you know, I did not vote for President Obama--we have many philosophical differences in how to get out of the recession and other stuff. But something he said last night during his address to Congress made me want to stand up and cheer.
When he was talking about education, the President said something that we don't hear anymore. It was a common theme when I was growing up. By the time my kids were going to school, things were different. It was discussed in hushed tones by small discreet groups and in a few homes. But most people did not believe it or want it to be the truth. Why? Because it is hard sometimes. And, frankly, I did not think there was a politician from either party that beleived it.
What was this very controversial thing he said?
He said that education begins in the home. And that is not all! He had the gall to say that parents should turn off the TV and the computer and read to their children or help them with their homework. I am sure most people simply chose to ignore what he said or stare at him on the TV set with disbelieving eyes and ears. Many people this morning are probably wondering if he is completle deranged by the rigors of the Presidency already.
But, I say, "you go, Mr. President!" It is about time we get back to thinking that our children's education is our responsibility--not the government's! It is the parents' responsibility to guide a child's education, to teach them the basics of numbers and alphabet and colors. It is a parent's job to see that the child gets to school and does their homework. It is the parent's responsibility to make sure no one (even the parent) does the work for the child.
It is about time we bring this out of the proverbial closet. Let's talk about it out loud and at PTSA meetings. Way to go, Obama. You certainly got this right!
When he was talking about education, the President said something that we don't hear anymore. It was a common theme when I was growing up. By the time my kids were going to school, things were different. It was discussed in hushed tones by small discreet groups and in a few homes. But most people did not believe it or want it to be the truth. Why? Because it is hard sometimes. And, frankly, I did not think there was a politician from either party that beleived it.
What was this very controversial thing he said?
He said that education begins in the home. And that is not all! He had the gall to say that parents should turn off the TV and the computer and read to their children or help them with their homework. I am sure most people simply chose to ignore what he said or stare at him on the TV set with disbelieving eyes and ears. Many people this morning are probably wondering if he is completle deranged by the rigors of the Presidency already.
But, I say, "you go, Mr. President!" It is about time we get back to thinking that our children's education is our responsibility--not the government's! It is the parents' responsibility to guide a child's education, to teach them the basics of numbers and alphabet and colors. It is a parent's job to see that the child gets to school and does their homework. It is the parent's responsibility to make sure no one (even the parent) does the work for the child.
It is about time we bring this out of the proverbial closet. Let's talk about it out loud and at PTSA meetings. Way to go, Obama. You certainly got this right!
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Valentine Pizza with a Stud
This past weekend was Valentine's Day and my husband and I had a wonderful time. But that is not what this post is about. It is really about another Valentine's Day 13 years ago.
I was single and not dating anyone--my choice. I had given up on dating and decided that I could focus on my family and friends and be perfectly fine. And I was doing great, although Valentine's Day was a little sad for me. My friends were all busy and my kids all had boyfriends or girlfriends so I was looking at an evening by myself.
Not so bad, I thought. I would pamper myself with a long shower and a facial. Some wine...I will go to bed early and it will be over. Actually I was starting to look forward to it. The phone rang on my desk and my son, Michael, was on the line wanting to know what I was doing that evening.
I told him and he immediately said I was going out with him. He was in high school and had a girlfriend, so I thanked him for the offer. But to my mind, he needed to spend the evening with his girlfriend and I told him so. Michael explained that he had taken her out the night before and she knew what he had planned for me.
When I got home from work, he had flowers and a stuffed bear for me. We left the house--he drove--and went to Mellow Mushroom Pizza. Michael would not let me pay for anything. He opened doors and was such a great date. We talked and laughed and the evening went by too fast. That was the best pizza I have ever eaten and it was the most memorable Valentine's I have ever had.
Thanks, Baby!
I was single and not dating anyone--my choice. I had given up on dating and decided that I could focus on my family and friends and be perfectly fine. And I was doing great, although Valentine's Day was a little sad for me. My friends were all busy and my kids all had boyfriends or girlfriends so I was looking at an evening by myself.
Not so bad, I thought. I would pamper myself with a long shower and a facial. Some wine...I will go to bed early and it will be over. Actually I was starting to look forward to it. The phone rang on my desk and my son, Michael, was on the line wanting to know what I was doing that evening.
I told him and he immediately said I was going out with him. He was in high school and had a girlfriend, so I thanked him for the offer. But to my mind, he needed to spend the evening with his girlfriend and I told him so. Michael explained that he had taken her out the night before and she knew what he had planned for me.
When I got home from work, he had flowers and a stuffed bear for me. We left the house--he drove--and went to Mellow Mushroom Pizza. Michael would not let me pay for anything. He opened doors and was such a great date. We talked and laughed and the evening went by too fast. That was the best pizza I have ever eaten and it was the most memorable Valentine's I have ever had.
Thanks, Baby!
Friday, January 30, 2009
Why the (bleep) did she want 8 more?
So the news today has been about the new mom of octuplets and the fact that she has 6 kids at home already. There has been a lot of discussion about should she have done it, is it ethical, should the doctor be charged with malpractice, and so forth. On the ABC website there were tons of comments on the story.
Some people are criticizing her for not aborting some of the fetuses. Do you have any idea how hard that is for someone who had fertility treatments? You go through an awful lot of misery on the slim chance of getting pregnant, then are asked if you want to get rid of some of them. A hard decision.
We know so little about this woman and her family. It could be that she is the villian the press is trying to make her. It could be that she is independently wealthy and loves kids. Who knows? I am sure the truth will come out soon.
But my question is "Why?" Bill Cosby once said that he and his wife had five children because they did not want six. So I stole it and told most people that I had three because I did not want four. Why would anyone want fourteen? Or why would they want seven if they had to have fertility treatments to do it?
That is the part that I don't understand. I love my kids with everything I am, but it was hard having three stair steps. Sometimes I felt like my whole day dealt with trying to stop arguments and answer whoever was whining, "Mommy" at the time. Now this woman has fourteen with the oldest being seven or eight...can we get her a lifetime supply of Valium?
Some people are criticizing her for not aborting some of the fetuses. Do you have any idea how hard that is for someone who had fertility treatments? You go through an awful lot of misery on the slim chance of getting pregnant, then are asked if you want to get rid of some of them. A hard decision.
We know so little about this woman and her family. It could be that she is the villian the press is trying to make her. It could be that she is independently wealthy and loves kids. Who knows? I am sure the truth will come out soon.
But my question is "Why?" Bill Cosby once said that he and his wife had five children because they did not want six. So I stole it and told most people that I had three because I did not want four. Why would anyone want fourteen? Or why would they want seven if they had to have fertility treatments to do it?
That is the part that I don't understand. I love my kids with everything I am, but it was hard having three stair steps. Sometimes I felt like my whole day dealt with trying to stop arguments and answer whoever was whining, "Mommy" at the time. Now this woman has fourteen with the oldest being seven or eight...can we get her a lifetime supply of Valium?
Thursday, January 8, 2009
Let's Give Our Kids to Congress to Raise...
I join with Neal Boortz, radio talk show host, in saying "Give me a freakin' break." On Neal's Nuze today is a story about a Republican from Utah who wants restaurants to build a barrier so bartenders and alcohol cannot be seen by children in the restaurants. http://boortz.com/nealz_nuze/2009/01/dont-let-the-children-see-alco.html http://boortz.com/blogging/mt-tb.cgi/17344
It is so tiring for government officials to keep trying to take on parenting roles and remove those roles from parents! Maybe we should all go to Congress and drop off all our kids. We could tell the legislators that if they want to parent our kids, here they are! I wonder how quick some of this legislation would go away?
In this time of bad economy and war, don't they have bigger fish to fry? They need to stop dealing with these petty issues and actually deal with the hard issues thay they have spent the past year avoiding.
Parents should be the ones who teach their children about alcohol. Parents should explain about drinking, especially underage drinking. Parents should institute and enforce their own rules about said alcohol. And if parents don't want their kids to see alcohol, they should only eat in restaurants that do not serve it.
It is up to parents, not the government!
It is so tiring for government officials to keep trying to take on parenting roles and remove those roles from parents! Maybe we should all go to Congress and drop off all our kids. We could tell the legislators that if they want to parent our kids, here they are! I wonder how quick some of this legislation would go away?
In this time of bad economy and war, don't they have bigger fish to fry? They need to stop dealing with these petty issues and actually deal with the hard issues thay they have spent the past year avoiding.
Parents should be the ones who teach their children about alcohol. Parents should explain about drinking, especially underage drinking. Parents should institute and enforce their own rules about said alcohol. And if parents don't want their kids to see alcohol, they should only eat in restaurants that do not serve it.
It is up to parents, not the government!
Calls for a new breed of parent
On Neal's Nuze on Tuesday http://boortz.com/nealz_nuze/2009/01/we-need-a-new-breed-of-parent.html Neal Boortz, radio talk show host, called for a new breed of parent. I believe what we need is an old breed of parent. A return to the days when parents made kids mind their manners, treat other adults with respect, and did not subject other people to unruliness is what I am looking for.
http://boortz.com/blogging/mt-tb.cgi/16891
Parents have become so permissive and, as a result, submissive to their children over the last few years. Children are allowed to pick vacation sites, have any electronic appliance they want, have a brand new sports car when turning 16, and they are allowed to annoy everyone in a store or restaurant with their poor behavior. I have seen my daughter in law spit on by a child in a restaurant and the offender faced no consequences from the parent!
I have left stores with a headache from listening to someone's child screaming for what seems like hours. Many times I just leave the store without buying anything--just to get away from the misbehaving kid. Stores should confront a parent that is allowing that to continue and ask them to leave.
But I also do not believe it is the store's responsibility. It is the parent's. Parents should leave public places until they can control their child's behavior. For example, as a parent of 3 small children, I found it very difficult to make them all behave and not bother other people. My answer? I did not go out to eat with the kids for several years. I am sure many people appreciated it.
I hear you saying that just because you have children, why should your live change? Duh...children change your life. Sometimes it is good changes and sometimes it is the opposite. Get used to it. You can't do everything you did before the little munchkins arrived.
When did children become more powerful than their parents? Why is this behavior tolerated? Is it because government tries to tie parents hands so much? Is it because parents want to be their child's BFF? Is it because it is easier to be so permissive? Is it because moms and dads are so busy working that they get so little time with their kids and don't want to be "mean" to them?
I think all these come into play. Someday these parents will wake up and realize that they have done their offspring no favors. Many children today are being raised to believe they are the center of the universe, they don't have to work for anything, and they will always be taken care of.
My husband's grandfather, who loved him dearly, once told him if he ever needed a helping hand to look at the end of his arm. Where are the parents like this wonderful man--the old breed of parent?
http://boortz.com/blogging/mt-tb.cgi/16891
Parents have become so permissive and, as a result, submissive to their children over the last few years. Children are allowed to pick vacation sites, have any electronic appliance they want, have a brand new sports car when turning 16, and they are allowed to annoy everyone in a store or restaurant with their poor behavior. I have seen my daughter in law spit on by a child in a restaurant and the offender faced no consequences from the parent!
I have left stores with a headache from listening to someone's child screaming for what seems like hours. Many times I just leave the store without buying anything--just to get away from the misbehaving kid. Stores should confront a parent that is allowing that to continue and ask them to leave.
But I also do not believe it is the store's responsibility. It is the parent's. Parents should leave public places until they can control their child's behavior. For example, as a parent of 3 small children, I found it very difficult to make them all behave and not bother other people. My answer? I did not go out to eat with the kids for several years. I am sure many people appreciated it.
I hear you saying that just because you have children, why should your live change? Duh...children change your life. Sometimes it is good changes and sometimes it is the opposite. Get used to it. You can't do everything you did before the little munchkins arrived.
When did children become more powerful than their parents? Why is this behavior tolerated? Is it because government tries to tie parents hands so much? Is it because parents want to be their child's BFF? Is it because it is easier to be so permissive? Is it because moms and dads are so busy working that they get so little time with their kids and don't want to be "mean" to them?
I think all these come into play. Someday these parents will wake up and realize that they have done their offspring no favors. Many children today are being raised to believe they are the center of the universe, they don't have to work for anything, and they will always be taken care of.
My husband's grandfather, who loved him dearly, once told him if he ever needed a helping hand to look at the end of his arm. Where are the parents like this wonderful man--the old breed of parent?
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
It is lost--have you seen it?
My daugher in law is 8 months pregnant...yes, we are about to have grandchild number eleven. How is that even possible when I am so young???
But, I digress. My point is that she is so beautiful and even still has a figure. If you watch her from behind, you would not know she was pregnant.
I had a figure when I got pregnant the first time. I was 23 and not too bad to look at. My figure disappeared somewhere around month 3 and I haven't seen it since. Where did it go? I have pondered that question for many years now. Why didn't it come back? Did I scare it away with my Fritos and Twinkies?
Somehow I thought if I got pregnant again maybe it would come back, but that did not work. Nor did it work the next time. Being of sound mind and body, I gave up after that. If the damn thing was going to come back; it was going to have do it on its own.
Still....why does she still have one at 8 months? This in one of those very unfair things in life. Here is someone I could not love more if I had given birth to her, and yet...! A part of me that lurks in the deep recesses hates her and her exercising figure. (just kidding, Jaime)
The good part is that she is putting all those good genes into my grandson. Hopefully when his wife is pregnant one day, he will be able to keep his figure...!
But, I digress. My point is that she is so beautiful and even still has a figure. If you watch her from behind, you would not know she was pregnant.
I had a figure when I got pregnant the first time. I was 23 and not too bad to look at. My figure disappeared somewhere around month 3 and I haven't seen it since. Where did it go? I have pondered that question for many years now. Why didn't it come back? Did I scare it away with my Fritos and Twinkies?
Somehow I thought if I got pregnant again maybe it would come back, but that did not work. Nor did it work the next time. Being of sound mind and body, I gave up after that. If the damn thing was going to come back; it was going to have do it on its own.
Still....why does she still have one at 8 months? This in one of those very unfair things in life. Here is someone I could not love more if I had given birth to her, and yet...! A part of me that lurks in the deep recesses hates her and her exercising figure. (just kidding, Jaime)
The good part is that she is putting all those good genes into my grandson. Hopefully when his wife is pregnant one day, he will be able to keep his figure...!
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Are fast food restaurants making our kids fat?
Baloney...or maybe I should say Tofu! That is just silly.
In the Atlanta Journal & Constitution recently they ran a pro-con editorial about whether the feds should step in and regulate advertising aimed at children. I was honored to have my letter to the editor published and thought I would talk about it a little here.
There is a growing obesity problem in our children. That is leading to a huge increase in children with conditions and diseases that once were only found in adults, such as Type 2 Diabetes and high cholesterol. This is a terrible problem and it is cautiously being said that this may be the first generation who will have a shorter life span than their parents. Makes you gasp, dosen't it?
Having said that, do I blame fast food restaurants and soft drink companies for targeting children? No, not in the least. We have a free market society and they have a right to target whomever they please. (Consumers have the right to refuse to buy the product.) This has always been part of their marketing strategy. Nothing new to see here--move on.
So what is the difference? Parents. My parents did not care how many times I wanted fast food or candy. I got it as a special treat and that was rarely. My kids got it a little more often because I was a working mom and sometimes that was all I could do on the way to a ballgame. However, I tried to limit it and to provide healthy meals for my kids nearly every day.
Many parents today want the government to make their kids not want this stuff--right! Like that is going to work. The genie is out of the bottle, baby. Those kids know about this stuff now and they are going to want it. Parents, you are going to have to put on your big girl panties and big boy boxers and say...let me think...what was that word...oh, I remember. Say NO!
Parents are ones who need to be the example by eating healthy and exercising themselves. They need to plan meals and healthy snacks that fit into busy lifestyles. I used to cook more that one meal at a time. That way when the week was going to be busy, I could pull out an already prepared meal, nuke it, and the kids ate healthy. You can also fill a cooler with healthy snacks to eat on the way to practice or whereever--fruits and cheese are perfect for this.
There needs to be a return to personal responsibility. Parents, if you look at your kids and they are overweight, there is only one person to blame. (hint...look in the mirror.) The last time I looked, 8 and 10 year olds did not drive themselves to the closest burger joint and buy themselves fries.
Get that child out from in front of the TV or computer. Yank that cell phone out of her hand. Get him involved in some physical activity. Start planning healthy meals. Make a change right now for the life of your child.
Our government was never meant to do everything for us. If it was, our founding fathers would have set it up as a dictatorship. Remember, in the words of Thomas Jefferson, "A government that is big enough to meet all your needs is big enough to take all you have."
In the Atlanta Journal & Constitution recently they ran a pro-con editorial about whether the feds should step in and regulate advertising aimed at children. I was honored to have my letter to the editor published and thought I would talk about it a little here.
There is a growing obesity problem in our children. That is leading to a huge increase in children with conditions and diseases that once were only found in adults, such as Type 2 Diabetes and high cholesterol. This is a terrible problem and it is cautiously being said that this may be the first generation who will have a shorter life span than their parents. Makes you gasp, dosen't it?
Having said that, do I blame fast food restaurants and soft drink companies for targeting children? No, not in the least. We have a free market society and they have a right to target whomever they please. (Consumers have the right to refuse to buy the product.) This has always been part of their marketing strategy. Nothing new to see here--move on.
So what is the difference? Parents. My parents did not care how many times I wanted fast food or candy. I got it as a special treat and that was rarely. My kids got it a little more often because I was a working mom and sometimes that was all I could do on the way to a ballgame. However, I tried to limit it and to provide healthy meals for my kids nearly every day.
Many parents today want the government to make their kids not want this stuff--right! Like that is going to work. The genie is out of the bottle, baby. Those kids know about this stuff now and they are going to want it. Parents, you are going to have to put on your big girl panties and big boy boxers and say...let me think...what was that word...oh, I remember. Say NO!
Parents are ones who need to be the example by eating healthy and exercising themselves. They need to plan meals and healthy snacks that fit into busy lifestyles. I used to cook more that one meal at a time. That way when the week was going to be busy, I could pull out an already prepared meal, nuke it, and the kids ate healthy. You can also fill a cooler with healthy snacks to eat on the way to practice or whereever--fruits and cheese are perfect for this.
There needs to be a return to personal responsibility. Parents, if you look at your kids and they are overweight, there is only one person to blame. (hint...look in the mirror.) The last time I looked, 8 and 10 year olds did not drive themselves to the closest burger joint and buy themselves fries.
Get that child out from in front of the TV or computer. Yank that cell phone out of her hand. Get him involved in some physical activity. Start planning healthy meals. Make a change right now for the life of your child.
Our government was never meant to do everything for us. If it was, our founding fathers would have set it up as a dictatorship. Remember, in the words of Thomas Jefferson, "A government that is big enough to meet all your needs is big enough to take all you have."
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
Kindergarten camp?
Now the latest thing in the paper is that kids need to attend "kindergarten camp" before starting kindergarten. WHAT???
My question is WHY?? Is it really necessary? One of the teachers said it would have made her more confident on her first day of kindergarten if she had attended something like this. Seriously, folks, do you remember your first day in kindergarten? Was it so traumatic to you that it changed your life forever?? Are you still having nightmares about the proper way to finger paint? Are you still unable to take a nap on a rug in the middle of the day due to the extreme angst you felt over not knowing that those naps would happen?
I don't remember much about kindergarten and pre-school at all. I rememer learning cool songs like, "I'm a Little Teapot" which my mother made me perform at the grocery store one time. I remember being more traumatized by a class trip to see "Bambi" and the fact his mom was killed in the movie than anything in the kindergarten classroom.
It is time we get a grip!
My question is WHY?? Is it really necessary? One of the teachers said it would have made her more confident on her first day of kindergarten if she had attended something like this. Seriously, folks, do you remember your first day in kindergarten? Was it so traumatic to you that it changed your life forever?? Are you still having nightmares about the proper way to finger paint? Are you still unable to take a nap on a rug in the middle of the day due to the extreme angst you felt over not knowing that those naps would happen?
I don't remember much about kindergarten and pre-school at all. I rememer learning cool songs like, "I'm a Little Teapot" which my mother made me perform at the grocery store one time. I remember being more traumatized by a class trip to see "Bambi" and the fact his mom was killed in the movie than anything in the kindergarten classroom.
It is time we get a grip!
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
Pregnancy Pact
Ok, we have all heard about the school in Gloucester, MA in which there are 17 pregnant teens (ages 15 and under). This is a number which is much higher than the statistical average. It appears that all of these girls actively tried to get themselves "in the family way."
The question on everyone's mind is "Why?" What in the world were they thinking? According to one schoolmate, possibly the need for unconditional love was the reason. Why do these teens feel like that is lacking in their lives? Where the heck are the parents?
If these kids think a baby is going to make their lives better, they need to think again!
The question on everyone's mind is "Why?" What in the world were they thinking? According to one schoolmate, possibly the need for unconditional love was the reason. Why do these teens feel like that is lacking in their lives? Where the heck are the parents?
If these kids think a baby is going to make their lives better, they need to think again!
- Walking the floor in the middle of the night with a colicy baby is not feeling loved.
- Watching other friends going out on dates and parties and being kids will be very hard while they are home with a baby.
- It is hard to do homework with a baby to look after (hoepfully they will still go to school).
- Boys that age are only going to want to date them for one reason--it is obvious they put out and that is what the boys will want. It will be very hard for them to find a guy who will be interested in a serious relationship.
- Their figures are blown to all heck. Do they realize how hard it is to lose baby weight?
We parents need to see this as a wake up call to reassess our relationships with our children, especially our teens. Do they know we love them unconditionally? Do they know we are their greatest cheerleader?
Remember when you correct your child that it is important to separate the transgression from the person. Never tell them they are bad or useless. Never withhold your love as a punishment. Every day tell them how much you love them. Talk to them about sex and parenting. It is okay if you tell them that parenting is hard--it is!
Talk to your kids about the children in MA that are having babies. Find other things in the news affecting or referring to teens and discuss those. A family with an open dialogue is less likely to have a problem like the families in Gloucester are facing.
So go--give your children a big hug and tell them how grateful you are that they are in your life!
Monday, June 9, 2008
Parrotheads on Parade
Where is the only place in the world where you can see sights like these?Where can you sing Rocky Top, spin a Hula Hoop, and get a cold Tequila shot while standing in the same spot?
Isn't my daughter in law cute doing the hula hoop?? The handsome gentleman behind her is my Monty.
Isn't my daughter in law cute doing the hula hoop?? The handsome gentleman behind her is my Monty.Last week we loaded the decorated vehicles with food, grills, various adult beverages, soft drinks, and our iPods. We then made the annual pilgrimmage to dance at the feet of the King of Caribbean Soul.
It was a very hot day and we even carried enough water with us to fill a small wading pool--thank God! If you see the picture of the wading pool and see milk jugs in it, well there is a story to that. I decided the pool water should be cold so I filled some jugs with water and froze them. But when we got there, no one had a knife to cut off the plastic--so I just stuck the whole thing in the water. It was cold--and healthy!!
We had margaritas and Cheeseburgers in Paradise--not that I really think the parking of the amphitheater is paradise. Just go with it...! We had cold watermelon and lots of water to drink.
Grass skirts were not in short supply, nor were Hawaiian style shirts or leis. Laughing and joking with all kinds of people we did not know in the parking lot is always a blast and this year held true to form.
Why is this in a parenting blog? Every year whichever of my kids are available and I go to the Jimmy Buffett concert. I started when they were in middle school--but back then they only went for the concert, not the tailgate. Happily when I married Monty, he enjoyed it as much as the rest of us. It is more special that he can share the festivities.
When my kids got into high school, they started inviting their friends who invited their parents...!! Who would have thought that?? I remember one year when we had 40 people--all kids and their parents at the show together.
So we have kids and parents having a great time together. We laugh and sing and dance and act silly. We wrap our arms around each other in the evening and sing along with Buffett, swaying to the rhythm of the music.
It is a bonding time; a time when you just enjoy being together. Thoughts drift to my kids who could not be with us for this show, and somehow we are all connected. Memories of earlier shows when they joined us fill my head and my heart sees them.
Friday, May 2, 2008
Who is my advisor?
As the parent of grown children, I can look back and laugh at all the times I had to be firm with them. Were they thankful? Believe it or not, they weren't! I remember a lot "I hate you's" being hurled in my direction which were immediately followed by the inevitable slamming door.
I did not let that perturb me. There was no way that they could really hate someone who loved them as much as I did. So I would ignore them or yell "Well, I love you" through the still rattling door.
In my memory it was my daughter and I who performed this ritual most often.
The other day, we were at the park with her boys (yes, I cursed her into having one just like her..) and I asked her advice about something. As always, she carefully thought before she answered and then gave me exactly what I needed.
Later I thought about how many times over the past few years we have called each other to ask the other's opinion. What a treasure that is! Erika always gives great counsel. She is very intellingent, but also very intuitive. It is what makes her a great mom. And a great advisor.
Who would have thought back then that she would be my best friend, the woman I most trust in the whole world? Funny, isn't it?
I also believe that the fact that I enforced the rules of the house, despite her tirades about how awful I was, helped to make her the woman she is today. Moms, trust your inner self that knows the right thing to do. Be consistent with love and with discipline. That is how you prepare your children for the rigors of the adult world.
My daughter has seen more than her share of hardships and faces each new challenge with a courage I can not imagine. I know some of what I taught her helped her be prepared for what she had to face and how she is winning every battle.
When I watch her with her children, I see a lot of me (the good part)...maybe that is not so bad.
I did not let that perturb me. There was no way that they could really hate someone who loved them as much as I did. So I would ignore them or yell "Well, I love you" through the still rattling door.
In my memory it was my daughter and I who performed this ritual most often.
The other day, we were at the park with her boys (yes, I cursed her into having one just like her..) and I asked her advice about something. As always, she carefully thought before she answered and then gave me exactly what I needed.
Later I thought about how many times over the past few years we have called each other to ask the other's opinion. What a treasure that is! Erika always gives great counsel. She is very intellingent, but also very intuitive. It is what makes her a great mom. And a great advisor.
Who would have thought back then that she would be my best friend, the woman I most trust in the whole world? Funny, isn't it?
I also believe that the fact that I enforced the rules of the house, despite her tirades about how awful I was, helped to make her the woman she is today. Moms, trust your inner self that knows the right thing to do. Be consistent with love and with discipline. That is how you prepare your children for the rigors of the adult world.
My daughter has seen more than her share of hardships and faces each new challenge with a courage I can not imagine. I know some of what I taught her helped her be prepared for what she had to face and how she is winning every battle.
When I watch her with her children, I see a lot of me (the good part)...maybe that is not so bad.
My best worst game of golf...
This week I joined several others in a golf tournament for a local charity. Coming off a day last weekend where I had my best golf shots in a long time, I was confident that everyone at the tournament would be talking about me when the day was over. They would be saying things like, "Wow, she has really improved." and " I wish I was that consistent with my putting" and "I can't believe she got a hole in one and won the longest drive contest in one day!"
My first drive on the first hole went for, oh, about 10 feet (stop lifting your head, Pat) and things got worse from there. I think in 18 holes I had 3 shots I was proud of. Not my vision at all.
It is obvious what made this my worst day, but what was best about it?
My son played in my foursome. He, too, has had better golf days. But we laughed and joked and teased each other all afternoon. Now that he is a grown married man, I get less time to do that than I used to.
So the sun was shining, the temperature was perfect, and I got to spend a whole aftternoon with my Michael. It just doesn't get any better than that! (well, unless one of us had actually gotten a hole in one and won the Mercedes!)
My first drive on the first hole went for, oh, about 10 feet (stop lifting your head, Pat) and things got worse from there. I think in 18 holes I had 3 shots I was proud of. Not my vision at all.
It is obvious what made this my worst day, but what was best about it?
My son played in my foursome. He, too, has had better golf days. But we laughed and joked and teased each other all afternoon. Now that he is a grown married man, I get less time to do that than I used to.
So the sun was shining, the temperature was perfect, and I got to spend a whole aftternoon with my Michael. It just doesn't get any better than that! (well, unless one of us had actually gotten a hole in one and won the Mercedes!)
Sunday, April 20, 2008
Super Bowl in Panama
Ok, so that was months ago. You are asking me why I am going to talk about the Super Bowl in April? Because I have been so busy...the dog ate my notes...I had temporary amnesia...any of these work for you?
Anyhoo....
One of the best things for me about being a parent of adults is getting hang out with them. And I am going to do a little series on just that topic.
This past February we were visiting our son and daughter-in-law in Panama (that is Central America, not the Redneck Riviera). He has a great job there and they love it. So we decided to go check it out. The first day we did typical tourist stuff: Panama Canal, Panama Viejo, Casca Viejo, etc. All great but nothing to compare to the adventure to come.
We flew to Bocas del Toro on the Caribbean coast. Our lodgings were nice--a really great outdoor shower. Well it was great until we found we only had cold water. And we were in the middle of Carnival so that wasn't getting fixed. They kept telling us they would fix it but we were obviously on island time...no biggie!
The night we arrived was the night of the Super Bowl so we asked if there was anywhere we could see it. Not really expecting a positive answer, we were suprised (in more than one way) to be told we could see it at "Bumfucks." I was standing there thinking that I thought that was in Egypt. Well, don't fuss at me, that is what he said! And he said everyone in town would be there.
So we got ready and headed down there early to get a table. The place was named "Baumfaulks" after the German founder, but the name has been bastardized over the years to what we were told. It was a typical Caribbean structure with a thatched roof--very rustic! Upon entering, we saw a young Australian couple we met earlier in the day. They had a great table and asked us to join them.
This was maybe the most amazing people watching place I have ever been. My son and I agreed that we felt like we were in a Hemingway novel or a Jimmy Buffett song. By the time the game started we had seen American and European college students, familiies of all sorts, Panamanians, guys who I am sure came straight there from Viet Nam and never left, tatooed and kerchiefed bikers and biker babes, people who were drunk, people who were high, women looking for love, and a fight right in front of us. It was great!
Our table was evenly divided on which team we were cheering for (Go! Little Manning!) and we laughed and bantered the night away over a table filled with wings, chips, other munchies, and buckets of beer and bottles of water. About half time we were even invaded by costumed creatures from the Carnival Parade!
I have never had an experience like it! While the game was on, everyone was into it, cheering for their favorite team du jour. No differences mattered. When the game ended everyone poured out into the street to join the Carnival crowd and we blended in with the others. Everyone was there to have a good time--and we did!
The best part of the whole experience was that I shared it not only my husband, but with my baby and my daughter-in-law. It is a memory I'll treasure for the rest of my life!
Anyhoo....
One of the best things for me about being a parent of adults is getting hang out with them. And I am going to do a little series on just that topic.
This past February we were visiting our son and daughter-in-law in Panama (that is Central America, not the Redneck Riviera). He has a great job there and they love it. So we decided to go check it out. The first day we did typical tourist stuff: Panama Canal, Panama Viejo, Casca Viejo, etc. All great but nothing to compare to the adventure to come.
We flew to Bocas del Toro on the Caribbean coast. Our lodgings were nice--a really great outdoor shower. Well it was great until we found we only had cold water. And we were in the middle of Carnival so that wasn't getting fixed. They kept telling us they would fix it but we were obviously on island time...no biggie!
The night we arrived was the night of the Super Bowl so we asked if there was anywhere we could see it. Not really expecting a positive answer, we were suprised (in more than one way) to be told we could see it at "Bumfucks." I was standing there thinking that I thought that was in Egypt. Well, don't fuss at me, that is what he said! And he said everyone in town would be there.
So we got ready and headed down there early to get a table. The place was named "Baumfaulks" after the German founder, but the name has been bastardized over the years to what we were told. It was a typical Caribbean structure with a thatched roof--very rustic! Upon entering, we saw a young Australian couple we met earlier in the day. They had a great table and asked us to join them.
This was maybe the most amazing people watching place I have ever been. My son and I agreed that we felt like we were in a Hemingway novel or a Jimmy Buffett song. By the time the game started we had seen American and European college students, familiies of all sorts, Panamanians, guys who I am sure came straight there from Viet Nam and never left, tatooed and kerchiefed bikers and biker babes, people who were drunk, people who were high, women looking for love, and a fight right in front of us. It was great!
Our table was evenly divided on which team we were cheering for (Go! Little Manning!) and we laughed and bantered the night away over a table filled with wings, chips, other munchies, and buckets of beer and bottles of water. About half time we were even invaded by costumed creatures from the Carnival Parade!
I have never had an experience like it! While the game was on, everyone was into it, cheering for their favorite team du jour. No differences mattered. When the game ended everyone poured out into the street to join the Carnival crowd and we blended in with the others. Everyone was there to have a good time--and we did!
The best part of the whole experience was that I shared it not only my husband, but with my baby and my daughter-in-law. It is a memory I'll treasure for the rest of my life!
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
Should Hillary Clinton be our next President?
Should Obama? Should Romney? Should McCain Should Huckabee?
What do you think? Do you know what you think? Do you recognize the names?
As parents it is our responsibility to know who we are electing and what they stand for. Know what issues are important to you, to your family, and to the country. Don't just listen to TV, radio talk shows, or read print to find out what you should believe.
Too many people in this country will vote for a candidate because:
What do you think? Do you know what you think? Do you recognize the names?
As parents it is our responsibility to know who we are electing and what they stand for. Know what issues are important to you, to your family, and to the country. Don't just listen to TV, radio talk shows, or read print to find out what you should believe.
Too many people in this country will vote for a candidate because:
- of gender (for or against),
- of race (for or against),
- of religious persuasion (for or against), or
- because someone else said they should.
None of these reasons are good enough to use your sacred privilege to cast a secret ballot on a single individual. Where do you personally stand on national security, illegal immigration, the tax code, the trade deficit, the housing 'crisis', the environment. These are all vital issues to be addressed in the next four years.
Pay attention to how these candidates have stood on these issues for the past decade, not just on what they are saying in a campaign speech. Or, worse yet, don't let someone else tell you what these candidates stand for. Check it out your self. Make it a family project.
Use this as a chance to get closer to your children and teach them how to vote and how to vote responsibly. It is disgusting to me that in the FL primary yesterday everyone was so excited about the fact that in some precincts almost 40% of the eligible voters turned out to vote.
When I was in school 40% was not a passing grade! Where in God's name are the other 60%? Be a good citizen and a good parent. Vote for the candidate who most fits your values. Your children's futures are dependent on what we do as voters. Teach your children how to compare candidates and vote intelligently.
On the other hand, if you are not an informed voter, please stay home.
Tuesday, January 8, 2008
I refuse to apologize...
to my children if I want to spend time with you. I refuse to apologize for having my feelings hurt when I am not included in something in your life. Or for occasionally (really, you have to admit I am pretty good about this) giving you an opinion about something you said or did that you neither requested or appreciated.
Why do I refuse to apologize? Because I have earned the right to do those things and be forgiven. I have earned the right by:
Why do I refuse to apologize? Because I have earned the right to do those things and be forgiven. I have earned the right by:
- Walking the halls all night with a col icy baby
- Using those nasty cloth diapers because you were allergic to disposables and having to wash them out in the toilet before putting them in the diaper pail
- All the times I hemorrhaged from the finger sticks I got from diaper pins
- Crying and feeling like I failed you every time I had to paddle your padded behinds--here I thought I was sending you to your room to think about what you did wrong and to feel bad. Later I find out it was only a great chance for you to pad your underwear.
- Hours in the car hauling your butts from here to yon; not to mention bringing the friends along
- More hours listening to a 3 year old say "guess what?" 600 times a day.
- Letting you live when you were 3 and flipped me off
- Listening to three toddlers squeal "MINE!!!!" about 500 times a day for approximately 6 years
- The times I had to resort to yelling that you will not be allowed touch each other again in your whole lives if you whine "he touched me" one more time today in the car
- Putting out the fire you started in the backyard
- Digging up, cleaning up, and giving new life to all the GI Joe figurines that "died in battle and had to be buried."
Do I need to go on? This is only a partial list of the reasons why you need to give a break sometimes. Just shake your head and remind your self that, yes, I am a crazy old woman. Just remember it is you who made me that way.
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