In the last year, I have learned a new lesson. Yes, even old horses can gradually be taught to learn!
In March of my junior year in high school, my family moved. As you can imagine, it was traumatic to me. Luckily, the place we moved to was terrific and the kids at the school were very nice to me. However, I only had a few friends and did not get to really get to know many of the graduating class--just no time. Part of me was envious that they had so many stories about growing up with each other that I could not share and sometimes I felt like a real outsider.
Over the years, I have gone to a few reunions, but last year's (cough, cough over the number) reunion was the best. We have all reached an age where we are just glad to see each other, renew old friendships, make new ones, and mourn our losses. With the fun we had that night, along with email and Facebook, many of us have been staying in touch. I know many of these people for the first time and they are wonderfully exciting, caring, and fun people.
In the photo above is Larry "Pepper" Smith. Larry and his wife, Christine Cordone, now live in Key West, FL and are entertainers (singers, songwriters, entertainers, music producers) at the Pier House Resort. Larry is a case in point--we did not run in the same circles--he was popular; I was a newcomer. He was in band; I was busy with my church. And so forth. Needless to say, we knew who each other was and I had always heard that he was a terrific musician, but cannot say I ever heard him play or sing by himself.
At last year's reunion he invited all of us to come hear them if we were in Key West. So this month, my husband and I took him up on his offer. We were so pleasantly surprised at the reception we received, as well as the quality of the entertainment. When Monty and I walked into the lounge where Larry was seated at the piano, he made a big deal to the audience about how we graduated from high school together and played a special song for Monty and I since our anniversary was the next day. You would have thought we had been close friends instead of passing acquaintances.
We were also invited into his "inner circle" of friends who were singing with him that night. They were also warm and welcoming. Larry has become a wonderful musician! He plays a few instruments, has a terrific singing voice, and writes some great songs which you can find at http://www.keywestislandnight.com. Turns out the rumors in high school about him were true--he is very talented. If you are in Key West, check out one of his shows--I promise you will want to hear more.
The lesson is for our kids is that high school doesn't last forever. It is a difficult time with new responsibilities, new hormones, new expectations, more hormones, lack of maturity, and did I mention hormones? Teach them that
- life moves on and people grow, change, and mature;
- the next place you go--another town, college, military, and so on--do not know that you were Homecoming queen or that you were the pimpled faced kid with low self esteem that always sat by himself;
- eventually you are all on the same plane;
- they can make anything of their lives that they want no matter where they started;
- people change over the course of their lives and someone who was a best pal may no longer fit, whereas a person you didn't like in high school could become a new best friend so don't slam any doors;
- many kids who could not get dates in high school become popular and famous (or infamous) later in life.
Things for parents to consider:
- Be your child's cheerleader.
- If you need to move for work, don't be afraid to do it. My parents certainly had to listen to a lot of crying and yelling when I got the news, but it turned out fine.
- Kids are very resilient--they can adjust to quite a bit. Sometimes we don't give them enough credit.
- Find stories like this one to share with your kids if they are having emotional distress with adolescence.
- Get them involved in something like music, sports, scouting, or whatever interests them and keep encouraging them. Chemicals from a physician is not the answer.
I was glad high school was not forever, but it is fun to go back sometimes and peek back behind that curtain one more time.
Since I mentioned Larry, I thought I would leave you with a song of his and some photos of mine.