High School Doesn't Last Forever

In the last year, I have learned a new lesson. Yes, even old horses can gradually be taught to learn!

In March of my junior year in high school, my family moved. As you can imagine, it was traumatic to me. Luckily, the place we moved to was terrific and the kids at the school were very nice to me. However, I only had a few friends and did not get to really get to know many of the graduating class--just no time. Part of me was envious that they had so many stories about growing up with each other that I could not share and sometimes I felt like a real outsider.

Over the years, I have gone to a few reunions, but last year's (cough, cough over the number) reunion was the best. We have all reached an age where we are just glad to see each other, renew old friendships, make new ones, and mourn our losses. With the fun we had that night, along with email and Facebook, many of us have been staying in touch. I know many of these people for the first time and they are wonderfully exciting, caring, and fun people.

In the photo above is Larry "Pepper" Smith. Larry and his wife, Christine Cordone, now live in Key West, FL and are entertainers (singers, songwriters, entertainers, music producers) at the Pier House Resort. Larry is a case in point--we did not run in the same circles--he was popular; I was a newcomer. He was in band; I was busy with my church. And so forth. Needless to say, we knew who each other was and I had always heard that he was a terrific musician, but cannot say I ever heard him play or sing by himself.

At last year's reunion he invited all of us to come hear them if we were in Key West. So this month, my husband and I took him up on his offer. We were so pleasantly surprised at the reception we received, as well as the quality of the entertainment. When Monty and I walked into the lounge where Larry was seated at the piano, he made a big deal to the audience about how we graduated from high school together and played a special song for Monty and I since our anniversary was the next day. You would have thought we had been close friends instead of passing acquaintances.

We were also invited into his "inner circle" of friends who were singing with him that night. They were also warm and welcoming. Larry has become a wonderful musician! He plays a few instruments, has a terrific singing voice, and writes some great songs which you can find at http://www.keywestislandnight.com. Turns out the rumors in high school about him were true--he is very talented. If you are in Key West, check out one of his shows--I promise you will want to hear more.

The lesson is for our kids is that high school doesn't last forever. It is a difficult time with new responsibilities, new hormones, new expectations, more hormones, lack of maturity, and did I mention hormones? Teach them that

• life moves on and people grow, change, and mature;
• the next place you go--another town, college, military, and so on--do not know that you were Homecoming queen or that you were the pimpled faced kid with low self esteem that always sat by himself;
• eventually you are all on the same plane;
• they can make anything of their lives that they want no matter where they started;
• people change over the course of their lives and someone who was a best pal may no longer fit, whereas a person you didn't like in high school could become a new best friend so don't slam any doors;
• many kids who could not get dates in high school become popular and famous (or infamous) later in life.

Things for parents to consider:

• Be your child's cheerleader.
• If you need to move for work, don't be afraid to do it. My parents certainly had to listen to a lot of crying and yelling when I got the news, but it turned out fine.
• Kids are very resilient--they can adjust to quite a bit. Sometimes we don't give them enough credit.
• Find stories like this one to share with your kids if they are having emotional distress with adolescence.
• Get them involved in something like music, sports, scouting, or whatever interests them and keep encouraging them. Chemicals from a physician is not the answer.

I was glad high school was not forever, but it is fun to go back sometimes and peek back behind that curtain one more time.

Since I mentioned Larry, I thought I would leave you with a song of his and some photos of mine.

Live Like You Are Dying

A few weeks ago, my husband and I went on a wonderful trip to Key West and one of the hightlights of the trip was taking a sea plane out to and exploring Dry Tortugas National Park. During the flight, a tape was playing that alternately played music or pointed out landmarks or interesting sites we were passing over. One of the songs was "Live Like You Were Dying" by Tim McGraw. Everytime I hear this impactful song, I reassess how I am living my life. Little did I know it, but in less than an hour this song was going to come to life for me.

On the trip Monty and I were given the gift of meeting Lisa, who is 12 years younger than I, and who was traveling by herself. She was great company and we really enjoyed talking to her. Upon hearing that she was a retired special education teacher, I already knew she was extraordinary. It takes a wonderful spirit to devote yourself to disabled children.

As the three of us wandered around the fort and looked at the fish in the pristine water, she told us that she was working out her "bucket list." I was very honored when she shared this private information with us and it made our time together more valuable. As I watched her throughout the day, I was inspired by her attitude and actions. She would sit on the beach and spend several minutes looking at each of the shells in the small collection she had in her hand or stare out at the ocean and comment on how beautiful it was. Then she would speak to us, quick with a smile and a laugh and a great sense of humor. And I marvelled at her.

So what is Lisa doing with the rest of her life? She is currently planning a trip around the world to see all the places she has dreamed of visiting. And she is doing it by herself. Fortunately, but not surprisingly, she has friends who plan to meet her in different countries so she will not always be alone in her journey.

Her affect on me has been enormous and I am not sure why, but I know it has to do with her humor, courage, kindness, and her acceptance of the limitations of this life. It is a surety she did not arrive at this place of peace overnight, but she has. She is in my thoughts and prayers every day. It is very rare for me to be overly impressed by any human being--we are all so flawed that I find it difficult to put anyone up on a pedestal. I have not done that with her, but in the few hours we were with her, she zoomed into the list of the top 5 people I respect and admire most. She is an inspiration for all of us.

Maybe her impact is because as a cardiac nurse I met so many people who put off doing things or going places that they really desired. Then their life or that of their spouse came to an early end and now their dreams would never be realized. After all that, I was now privileged to meet someone who is actually getting the chance to live those dreams.

As parents, this is a great lesson for us and for our children. When you get the chance to clean house or play tag--play tag. If you have to make a choice about working late or going to the ballgame--go to the ballgame. In the Tim McGraw song, a line goes "Someday I hope you get the chance to live life like you were dyin'." But I think that is a decision we make everyday, in every choice we make.

We don't know how many moments we are given in this life. So don't waste any of the precious ones!

Hostels--What You Need to Know

Recently I met a man who runs two hostels in Flagstaff AZ and realized I knew nothing about them. Are they a viable alternative for lodging when traveling? Are they safe? What exactly is a hostel? Where are they located?

John McCulloch of Grand Canyon International Hostel answered my questions and then graciously agreed to tape a segment for Parents Rule! video blog to answer questions you might have. That tape is found at the bottom of this blog or at:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NYyONXrmOZE (As you will see in the video, he is also a very talented musician.)

Turns out that hostels are a quite interesting alternative for traveling on a steep budget. Elder hostels are even available for those of us who are graying. So now there is no good excuse not to travel and see places you have always wanted to visit. Get out there and have fun!

9-11 Tribute: Where Were You?

On September 11, 2001, I came home from an early morning meeting and my son yelled to me to watch the TV--that a plane had flown into one of the World Trade Center buildings. As we sat on his bed and watched together, it was through a haze of disbelief that I began to realize that our country was being attacked.

I remember hugging him and telling him that this was a moment we would always remember because the world as we knew it had just changed. How right I was. But I was safe at home in Suwanee, GA. My husband was working in Canada, but I knew he was not flying that day. As far as I knew, everyone I loved was safe for now.

Unfortunately, there were 3000 American citizens who were not. They were overcome by smoke in their offices. They were disintegrated immediately when the planes flew into their buildings. They jumped to their deaths preferring a sudden impact demise to a firey one. They were on hijacked planes and did not know what was going to happen. They tried to take back a plane headed to Washington DC and crashed in PA to save more innocent lives. They perished in valiants efforts to rescue and protect.

So many stories. So many souls that survived, but were forever changed. So many left to mourn and wonder about how this could happen. In my YouTube video blog this week I am featuring the story of a woman who is a survivor of the Twin Towers on 9-11. Her children were among those walking the streets of NYC with a photo of her, not knowing whether she was alive or dead.

For the ten years since 9-11 we have been healing, but the memory is just as fresh today as it was then. I pray we never forget that day and do all we can to prevent anything like that from happening again.

So let's fly our flag and hold our heads up high. We were not beaten. We were bruised and battered and paid a heavy toll on that Sept 11 morning. But we were not destoyed. We still stand tall and proud. Our landscape may have changed but our spirits never did, never will.

We are Americans, citizens of the greatest nation that was ever created. We will never forget, but we will not let it keep us from moving forward.

God Bless America!