In my goal of providing timely parenting information to my readers/listeners, I am bringing this sad story to you. According to all the news outlets today, a Seattle high school's teen health center not only tested a girl for pregnancy without parental consent, it also sent her for an abortion. http://abcnews.go.com/Health/teen-abortion-high-school/story?id=10189694 This event is getting a lot of play on the internet and there are mixed feelings about this.
Apparently, this is legal in Washington state as well as 12 or 13 other states. Why? Why is this considered the right thing to do? It is just another example of the erosion of parental rights in the United States. Teen pregnancy and abortion are very important issues in the life of a teen. They need to be discussed at home with the family, not with strangers who do not have the child's best interest at heart. Advice from her parents is what that child needed.
Abortion is not without risk, physically or emotionally. What if the girl had died? What if she had a botched abortion and could never have children again? What if, after the abortion, she got depressed and committed suicide? I have know several people who have had abortions and the majority of them dealt with guilt and depression afterward. Wouldn't this child need her family for support of any decision?
What did the school tell this teen girl? "We had no idea this was being facilitated on campus," said the mother. "They just told her that if she concealed it from her family, that it would be free of charge and no financial responsibility." So they actively counseled her to keep the secret from her parents. That is just wrong, period.
When I was a teen, I did not have sex. Not because I didn't want to, but because I didn't think I could face my parents if I got pregnant or caught a disease. It was a deterrant for me and for many others. Is that a bad thing? I don't think so. Teens are not emotionally capable of handling a sexual relationship. They are just learning to deal with the crazy hormone surges and mood changes that come with puberty and adolescence. Teens having sex too early is a recipe for a very bad emotional soup.
Even though I would have been afraid to tell my parents, I know they would have supported me and helped me make the right decision about what should be done. Would they have been angry? Absolutely. Would they have caused a scene? No question. But when all was said and done, they would have been there for me just like they were for every other crisis in my life. And so would practically every other parent.
Abortion back then was still illegal so that would not have been on the table. But we would have talked about keeping the baby versus adoption. Yes, they would have been disappointed. Every parent is when their child has to face a situation like that.
It doesn't mean that the parent stops loving that child. What it should mean is that they discuss their feelings openly and frankly. Information for parents and child is vital and they can get it from various sources, such as a pediatrician. Then they sit down as a family and decide what is best for the baby and for the teen.
What should NEVER happen is for the government or a school to usurp the parental role in such a situation. I think it is criminal to encourage a child to hide something like that from a parent. I am just sick to know that it is legal in so many states. This should be a wake up call for parents. Find out the laws in your state. Lobby to have such a horrendous law repealed if you have one. Stand up for parents rights. What if this had been your child? How would you have felt?
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Thursday, March 4, 2010
What To Do If You Witness a Theft?
How many of you have ever seen someone shoplift right in front of you? If you did, what would you do? What if it was a child and the mother did not see? Would you:
A. Tell the mom
B. Tell the clerk
C. Do nothing
D. Tell the clerk, but pay for it yourself
This happened to a friend of mine. Check her blog about it at http://www.babyboomerbev.blogspot.com/ under Mind Your Own Business Boomer Grandma. My friend told the clerk who stopped the mom and daughter before they left the store. Yes, it was a preschooler and yes, it was only a lollypop. But isn't that how it starts? First a lollypop, then fancy panties, then a Ferrari.
What appalled me about the story was the mom's angry reaction. I would have been embarassed, but also grateful to Bev for letting me know what happened so I could put a stop to it. One of my kids that age stole candy and I marched them back to the store to apologize and pay for it. They never did it again.
From the mom's reaction, I wonder if she really did know. Bev said it looked like the child knew what she was doing. And just last week a mom and dad were arrested for using their small child to steal something--I think it was a purse. The mom told her to "do it for mommy." Really? That is what you want to teach your child?
As Bev asks, where are the morals these days? We have a very lenient society in which our young people are given anything they want instead of having to work for it. I think that is the start of this type of behavior. They think that just because they want it, they should be able to take it. Hmm. Are they learning that at home or from Congress?
A. Tell the mom
B. Tell the clerk
C. Do nothing
D. Tell the clerk, but pay for it yourself
This happened to a friend of mine. Check her blog about it at http://www.babyboomerbev.blogspot.com/ under Mind Your Own Business Boomer Grandma. My friend told the clerk who stopped the mom and daughter before they left the store. Yes, it was a preschooler and yes, it was only a lollypop. But isn't that how it starts? First a lollypop, then fancy panties, then a Ferrari.
What appalled me about the story was the mom's angry reaction. I would have been embarassed, but also grateful to Bev for letting me know what happened so I could put a stop to it. One of my kids that age stole candy and I marched them back to the store to apologize and pay for it. They never did it again.
From the mom's reaction, I wonder if she really did know. Bev said it looked like the child knew what she was doing. And just last week a mom and dad were arrested for using their small child to steal something--I think it was a purse. The mom told her to "do it for mommy." Really? That is what you want to teach your child?
As Bev asks, where are the morals these days? We have a very lenient society in which our young people are given anything they want instead of having to work for it. I think that is the start of this type of behavior. They think that just because they want it, they should be able to take it. Hmm. Are they learning that at home or from Congress?
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
Are You an Olympics Junkie Like Me?
I love the Olympics--winter and summer, but I think the winter games are my favorite. In 1980, I remember nursing a newborn late at night in my living room while silently chanting U-S-A U-S-A. The Miracle on Ice unfolded before my eyes and I was mesmerized. There they were; a bunch of college kids playing against "professionals" from other countries and we won the gold. Before that I liked the Olympics, but after that, I was hooked.
I started listening to the stories of how the competitors got there--the sacrifices they and their parents made so they could participate in these incredible events that bring the world together--if only for a couple of weeks every two years. It shows me that it can be done.
This year, I cried with the Canadian ice skater who skated for her mom; the mom that died suddenly two days before JoAnnie was due to compete. I cried with her when she raised her arms toward heaven and her mom after a skate that won her a bronze medal.
I saw a hockey player play his best for parents who hocked their wedding rings many years earlier so they could afford hockey lessons for their child. And I saw a skier who skied to gold for his brother with cerebral palsy. The brother was there cheering louder than anyone else.
There are so many glorious athletic accomplishments that occur during the Olympics. But what I love the most is the knowledge that a family worked together so an athlete could compete. For instance there was the family of another skier who voted to forego buying each other Christmas presents this year and pool their money so they could send a son and a brother to Vancouver.
That is what family is all about, folks. Think about it.
I started listening to the stories of how the competitors got there--the sacrifices they and their parents made so they could participate in these incredible events that bring the world together--if only for a couple of weeks every two years. It shows me that it can be done.
This year, I cried with the Canadian ice skater who skated for her mom; the mom that died suddenly two days before JoAnnie was due to compete. I cried with her when she raised her arms toward heaven and her mom after a skate that won her a bronze medal.
I saw a hockey player play his best for parents who hocked their wedding rings many years earlier so they could afford hockey lessons for their child. And I saw a skier who skied to gold for his brother with cerebral palsy. The brother was there cheering louder than anyone else.
There are so many glorious athletic accomplishments that occur during the Olympics. But what I love the most is the knowledge that a family worked together so an athlete could compete. For instance there was the family of another skier who voted to forego buying each other Christmas presents this year and pool their money so they could send a son and a brother to Vancouver.
That is what family is all about, folks. Think about it.
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