Clothes Don't Cause Pregnancy, People Do

In the news this week is a story about a company, Forever 21, that is launching a clothing line for pregnant teens and young women. This is stirring up an intense controversy. In my mind it is much like the idea that toys in Happy Meals cause fat kids.

The "Love 21 Maternity" line, according to Larry Meyer, executive vice president of Forever 21, is focused on their customers who are eighteen and older. They have opened the line in five states, three of which (Texas, Arizona, and California) have the highest teen pregnancy rates. Because of those states, the accusation, according to the story on www.foxnews.com, is that Forever 21 approves of teen pregnancy. Meyer states that it is just coincidental about the three states.

Now I will admit to being a devout capitalist. I support people who develop a product and find a way to market it successfully. In my thinking, if they saw those rates of pregnancy and said, "hey, there is a market for our designs," there is nothing wrong in that. It is a long way from saying, "let's design some great clothes so more kids will get pregnant."

I am also a devout "parents rights" person. But that works two ways. I want the government to stay out of the home and let parents raise their kids in the best way for their own family. However, that means that parents have the responsibility to make good decisions. Parents need to do all they can to prevent teen pregnancy, rather than just hide in a closet and hope it doesn't happen to their kids.

To continue with my first analogy, clothes don't cause pregnancy, people cause pregnancy. Just like toys in kids meals don't make kids fat, irresponsible parents that won't say "no" do. And I have more faith in our teenagers than that. Teens don't get pregnant because of cute clothes. If they deliberately get pregnant, there are bigger issues in that child's heart than what they are wearing.

Can You Make a Difference?

As promised, on the Fouth of July, my new e-book became available. Unfortunately, I had also promised a few more patriotic blogs leading up to the 4th and the book launch. No one told the nasty cold bug that knocked me flat on my buttocks last week that I had all this "stuff" to do. With the immense help of my daughter in law, Susan, I managed to get the book ready and not much else.

My big plan was to have a wonderfully clever and remarkably intelligent blog on Independence Day to celebrate. Instead I laid in bed, barely conscious that it was a holiday. Oh, the best laid plans of mice and men....!

Since my brain is still functioning on a low level, I thought I would share a sample of the book with you:

Teach children that one person can make a difference in someone
else’s life and in the world. I recently read a transcript of Oprah
interviewing Will and Jada Pinckett Smith. Some wise words came from
Will Smith when asked how they keep their kids grounded. "I tell them all
the time: 'Mommy and Daddy are rich. You all are broke,'" he says. "We
don't allow them to just sit around. We talk about the concept of the group
and the necessity of you adding to the family. Then you have to add to
your neighborhood, and then, you have to add to humanity.”

This exactly what I am talking about. It starts with the family. Sometimes
all it takes is a smile to brighten someone’s day. Or a quick phone call to
a sick friend keeps them from feeing alone. Compassion, courtesy, and
sincere caring for others should be made to be part of the family
“brainwash.”

In our country’s history, family has always taken care of family and
neighbors have always taken care of neighbors. It is why we collect
money for earthquake survivors, for cancer patients, and for the elderly
lady down the street who cannot pay the rent because she had to spend
extra this month for medicine.

This is not the role of government, schools, or employers. It really gets my
goat that now many employers use the amount of volunteerism a person
does as a criterion for how much of a raise they are entitled to for the year.

Volunteer work, while worthwhile, has nothing to do with the average
person’s job performance. In fact, that does not sound like volunteerism;
more like indentured servitude, to me. It is the job of the parent to instill
this value into their kids. Or not…their choice.

Another example to share with children is that in 2009, there was a local
election in a small town in Florida. The victor won by one vote because
only one person showed up to vote. Talk about one person making a
difference!

The e-book can be ordered free for a limited time from my website http://www.parentsrulewithpat.com

Do We Have a Living Constitution, Or Is It Just Outdated?

Interestingly as I am writing this blog series, I have learned a couple of facts that worry me. And they should worry you, my patriot parents.

First, a publisher, Wilder Publications, has placed a disclaimer on a book they are selling on Amazon. The book contains the Declaration of Independence, The US Constitution, and The Federalist Papers. Here is the wording of the disclaimer: "This book is a product of its time and does not reflect the same values as it would if it were written today. Parents might wish to discuss with their children how views on race, gender, sexuality, ethnicity and interpersonal relations have changed since this book was written before allowing them to read this classic work."

Now very little can be found on the internet about this publisher--not one of the big ones. But the fact that they would do this is disturbing to me. Will other publishers follow suit? I pray not. The Constitution is not a "product of its time", but rather a timely document that holds the current laws of our nation. It is not simply "a classic work" to be lumped together with pieces of fiction (on which they put the same disclaimer), such as Lady Chatterly's Lover.

Again, let me repeat. It is the basis of our current set of laws. It is timeless. The group Media Matters said that the disclaimer simply "reminds parents and teachers that children may not know how different our society is today." I agree that parents and teachers should talk to their kids about these documents. But I don't believe a disclaimer of it being "a product of its time" is necessary. In fact, I find it insulting. Yes, times are different. But didn't we all learn that in school? Can't our kids tell that by the strange clothing in the photos? As I have said many times, parents need to be talking to their children about our country and this is one reason why.

That being said, the magic of the US Constitution is that it can be changed by amendment. Our founders knew that times would change and therefore, created a living document that could reflect the needs of future generations. Thomas Jefferson said, "I am not an advocate for frequent changes in laws and constitutions. But laws and institutions must go hand in hand with the progress of the human mind...we might as well require a man to wear still the coat that fitted him when a boy as civilized society to remain ever under the regimen of their barbarous ancestors."

This brings me to my second point of concern--the definition of a living constitution. I was taught as I stated above, that our written laws could be changed as the times warranted, making it a living document. Any changes are a function of the legislative branch of our government and, in our constitution, the process for making these amendments is spelled out clearly.

However, now there are judges who believe that the term "living constitution" refers to something else. They believe that the judicial system can, and should, change laws or create new ones in order to adjust to today's world. This is a violation of the Constitution. It is the job of the courts, including the Supreme Court to interpret laws, not to make them. And, sadly, we have some jurists around the country today that are legislating from the bench.

This is an huge upset in the delicate balance of power in our country. If the legislature passes a bad law, the judicial branch can overturn the law. The executive branch has limits to what it can do and has to work with the legislative branch to create change. However, the only recourse to reverse a Supreme Court decision is to pass a new law that is written in a way that the Court will not overturn it.

In my opinion we are walking a slippery slope when we upset the power balance. Given too much power, one branch can overcome the other two and lead to tyranny.

These are issues parents can discuss with their children. Well, the older ones anyway. Know what they are being taught in school. And stay connected to them. The only way we got to this point was through apathy. Let's end the apathy and get involved. Get out and vote. Call your representation in Washington DC and let them know your opinions of upcoming bills and appointee confirmations.

I would love to know what you think.

Is God in the Constitution?

"Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof..." This is the beginning of the First Amendment to the Constitution of the United States of America.

Our founders set up a system of laws in our Constitution that has been the basis of our republic for its entire history. In these laws, this is really the only reference to religion I have found. If you know of another, please educate me.

However, God was very visible and present in the Declaration of Independence when it said, "...among the Powers of the Earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them..." and "...all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights..." So our founders obviously believed in God. They wanted those Judeo Christian precepts of peace, understanding, justice, and tolerance to be the basis of the new country.

So why one and not the other? In my opinion, the Constitution, being a set of laws, was deliberately written this way. The early settlers to this land came, in part, seeking religious freedom. They wanted to worship God in their own ways after their own belief systems. Knowing this right been denied this right in their ancestors, our founders did not want to see it denied to others. Their goal in terms of religion was to have an Eden where all people could worship God in the ways of their own choosing, or also have the right to not worship if that was the choice. To make laws that then told the constituents how to worship was distasteful to them. It flew in the face of their hopes of our country never becoming an oppressive theocracy.

Over the years, we have been that beautiful oasis where the oppressed could find shelter and a home. Yes, we have had some bumps in the road toward that oasis, but it is still the beacon of religious freedom for many who come here. In every city and town we have churches, synogogues, mosques, and temples. We have woods and oceans for the ones who find God in those places. Each soul is free to pursue their own religious expression.

It was worth fighting a raging sea for in 1492. It was worth fighting for in 1776. It is worth fighting for now--figuratively and literally. I read some statements from some of the Islamic extremists that want to see this country under Sharia law, and they are trying to make that happen.

I don't think it ever can, but we must be vigilant to protect this precious freedom that so many others envy and which so many others want to destroy. Parents must educate their children that this is one of our most valuable freedoms and we must cherish it. We must let our legislators and judges know how valuable it is to us.

We must pass this freedom on to the next generation.

God Bless Our America.

Betsy Ross Did Not Make the First US Flag

Our flag carries American ideas, American history and American feelings. It is not a painted rag. It is a whole national history. It is the Constitution. It is the Government. It is the emblem of the sovereignty of the people. It is the NATION.
-Henry Ward Beecher, 1861

Isn't that a lovely site? Happy Flag Day, everyone.

In keeping with my theme of promoting patiotism and love of our country, I am discussing our beloved flag. As I said in my last post, parents need to be teaching their kids about our history. This in one way I can assist in that.

Betsy Ross did not design and sew the first US flag, as I learned in school. Actually, that rumor started around the 1876 Centennial celebrations, according to research by the Smithsonian Institute.

So who did create our flag? No one is really sure. But there is a lot of speculation over who designed and sewed the first one. What we do know is that is has undergone 26 revisions since our first "Grand Union Flag." Why don't you and your kids research this as a family project?

And what does the flag stand for? Every child should be taught this. Do an internet search for the poem, Face the Flag, as it is a wonderful and uplifting narrative about our country and our flag. We should also know how to fly the flag with respect: this link is great http://www.holidayinsights.com/other/flagday.htm Also if your flag is torn or frayed, it should be retired appropriately. Call your local Boy Scouts and they will retire your flag for you. They have a special ceremony for it.

Below is a great way to teach the Pledge of Allegiance to our flag (you can find it spoken by John Wayne with an internet search).

Pledge of Allegiance
Written by Francis Bellamy and Commentary by John Wayne

I pledge allegiance to the flag

What do those words mean to you? To me they say thank you America for your strength, your courage, and for our freedom which has been a beacon to the world for 200 years.

of the United States of America

Whose bright stars are 50 states each bearing its own stamp of individuality. People 200 m strong, People who come to her from all corners of the earth.

And to the republic for which it stands

A land of laws with an ingenious system of checks and balances that allows no man to become a tyrant and lets no group to prevail. If their power is not tempered with real concern for the governed, a land where the power of dissent and free speech is jealously guarded. The ballot box is the sword and people its wielder.

One nation under God

A land where freedom of worship is a cornerstone of her being. A land drenched with temples and churches, synagogues and alters that rise in profusion to embrace all the religions of the world.

Indivisible

A land forged by the hot steel of raw courage and formed forever by the awful crucible—Civil War

With liberty

Where a man in pursuit of an honest life will not be denied his chance. Where her citizens move freely within her vast borders without hindrance or fear. A land brimming with opportunity where freedom of choice is the guideline for all.


and justice

The courts of our land are open to all. Its wheels of justice grind for all causes, all people. They look to every avenue for justice every concern of the law and they temper their reasoning with mercy for all.

for all

God bless the USA.

Saving Our Country--One Child at a Time

If you have read many of my blogs, you know how fiercely patriotic I am. Lately I have been saddened to see how many Americans no longer have the "American dream". Listening to the news, you would think that we live in a terrible country who hates everyone else and is overrun with greed and corruption. What government doesn't have their fair share of greed and corruption? But it is not what defines us as a country.

So for the next few weeks I am going to write a blog each week to talk to you parents about hope and change we can really believe in. In actuality we live in the best country that has ever been on the face of the home we call earth. Americans cherish individual liberty, creativity, and growth. Our constitution guarantees that we have the right to "life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness." There are very few countries, even today, in which that is true.

I am calling on parents to "brainwash" their kids--in a good way. During the days building up to the Independence Day celebrations, talk to your kids. Tell them all the wonderful things that our ancestors have stood and died for. Teach them what is in the constitution and how the magic of our constitution is that is can be changed. Our leaders can be changed and laws can be changed. We hold national elections every two years to guarantee that no one person can control our lives.

My dad "brainwashed" me. He fought in WW II for our freedom and was very proud of it. He told me on a regular basis how wonderful this country is. He grew up a poor country boy from Tennesse and was able to go to college and have professional success that his father could only dream of. The first song I ever learned was the Marine Corps Hymn, and he also made sure I knew other patriotic songs. He insisted that we be silent when the National Anthem was played to reflect on what it means. To this day, I still get tears when I hear America the Beautiful or God Bless America. Smaltzy? Yes, but is that a bad thing?

Explain to your children that yes, we have not always done the right thing in this country. We are a government of people who are fallible and make mistakes. However, our lawmakers, while they may differ on what is best, all try to come from a place of right intention. And if they don't, we can move someone else in that will. We are always the first country to come to the aid of another country in crisis, even our enemies.

Our individual freedoms are precious and our kids need to understand that if we and they are apathetic, we can lose them. Don't count on your schools to teach your kids what you want them to know. Some teach history from the left and some teach it from the right. To me, history is history and should be a retelling of facts without bias from either side.

Over the next few weeks, I am going to share some ideas that you can use to teach your children about our amazing history and why we should be proud to be Americans. Sadly, too many times these days they are hearing how awful we are--most of which is absolutely not true. When we do make blunders, we eventually find a way to try to make it right. That is what we do. We are Americans, proud to be from the greatest nation on earth.

Fowl Felony in Hawkinsville, GA

According to the Atlanta Journal Constitution, several teens were arrested last week in Hawkinsville, GA for a senior prank that got out of control. http://www.ajc.com/news/17-arrested-when-chicken-521799.html I am not a fan of senior pranks, but every few years we hear about a bunch of kids who get in trouble trying to perpetrate one.

The kids let some chickens loose in the school and spread corn everywhere for them. Naturally the chickens made messes all over the school. The kids also put sardines in the AC system. I agree that they very clearly did not use good judgement.

The latest news reports I heard were that the kids, one of whom was the valedictorian, were charged with felony trespassing. Is it necessary to charge them with a felony? These are young adults who did something stupid. What adult can look back and say that they always used good judgement when they were that age? A felony conviction prevents them from voting. It affects their ability to get a good job for the rest of their lives. I don't think the prosecutors should punish poor judgement with more poor judgement. No one was hurt, after all. Yes, it cost the school money.

And here is what I think should be done instead of charging them with a felony. The kids should have to make restitution in terms of labor and money to fix the damage they caused. A few hours on their hands and knees scrubbing chicken poop off the floor will do a lot to improve their decision making skills.

They should also be on the hook for the repair costs to the AC system. The parents should not be allowed to pay for the damages on behalf of their children. The perpetrators should have to either get jobs and use their income to repay the school, or they should have to do janitorial work at the school through the summer until they have worked off the debt.

Ruining the lives of otherwise good kids should not be the outcome for a "prank." They didn't hurt or kill anyone, they didn't steal anything, they didn't cause major structural damage to anything. Let's get things into perspective.

What do you all think? How would you punish them? Or, if you have an update to this story, please comment and let us know.

Is This America or Not?

Events over the past few days in Morgan Hills, CA have captured my attention. That is where the four students (two of whom were of Mexican descent) at Oak Hill High School were told to go home for wearing shirts with the American flag on them on May 5. Yes, it is Cinco de Mayo and most of the hispanic students were wearing the colors of Mexico that day.

My question is: if one was allowed, why was the other not? The last I looked, we live in the United States of America, not Mexico. Cinco de Mayo is not a recognized US holiday, so what is the fuss about a few T-shirts? Let the kids wear what they want, or mandate the wearing of uniforms.

The kids celebrating Cinco de Mayo said it was disrespectful to them. Really?? Are they here illegally? If not, they are welcome to be here and celebrate their culture. They can wear the red, green, and yellow shirts every day if they want.

The kids in the flag shirts were exercising their First Amendment Right to free speech in their wardrobe choice. They were proclaiming their love of our country and making a statement about the illegal aliens that are invading our country. Also these kids were in school--a school paid for by the United States of America. They did not trespass on or disrupt any Cinco de Mayo celebrations outside of school

Would I have recommended to my child to wear it on that day? Probably not, but they have the right to do so. It is never wrong to display the US flag in the United States of America, or it shouldn't be.

And now the "disrespected" kids walked out of class and marched to the court house chanting, "Si, se puedes" which means "Yes, we can". Yes, we can WHAT? What is their point in this? I think it is just an excuse to make a scene since the national cameras are on them. What a shame.

When I was in school I learned that the US is a melting pot of many cultures. It is what makes us special. Each group should never lose their heritage or the traditions that make them unique. However, we are all blended as Americans. If you don't want to blend, go away and go back to the country that you think is so much better than this one.

Many of my ancestors immigrated here for a better life. I get that. But they did it legally so the country could allow the ones in that really wanted a better life, and reject those that were criminals or had communicable diseases. Americans value and welcome any immigrant that comes here legally. We hope you live a wonderful life here.

But for the illegal aliens that are coming across the borders, that is a different story. Sure, most of them are wonderful people who are hard working and just wanting to make a better life. But they shoud do it legally. This world is too dangerous and there are too many people who want to do us harm to allow the porous borders.

The Mexican people I have met are kind, hard working, religious, and family oriented. Welcome to you if you come legally, melt into our society (while retaining your culture), learn our language, and pay taxes like the rest of us. Many of the Ellis Island immigrants spent months, if not years, waiting on that island before they were allowed to enter the country. And it was for a good reason.

Do the immigration laws need to be changed to make it easier? Absolutely! No question in my mind. But until that is done, those laws are what we have. Instead of protesting a few kids in T-shirts, you should be protesting the grotesque immigration laws from Congress.

Who is Your Hero?

When I was a little girl, my dad was my hero. As a teenager, I worshipped rock stars and movie stars. In fact, I probably still have a little crush on Peter Blair Denis Bernard Noone. What?? You don't recognize that name? He was Herman of Herman's Hermits.

What?? You still don't know who he is? Well, neither do a lot of people. And that is what happens when your idols are stars. They flare up brightly then disappear. In my book I encourage parents to introduce real people who have done something extraordinary to their kids. On my radio show next week, Brad Meltzer is my guest. He has written a wonderful book to help parents do just that, entitled Heroes for My Son in which he briefly discusses several people who have made a mark on the world. He also has a blog on the website, http://www.herosformyson.com in which he presents lesser known people who have also been extraordinary in some way.

My advice to parents is to talk to your kids about why we look up to people who seem bigger than life, who we should look up to, and how it should affect our lives. If your child's favorite football star gets accused of rape, talk to him about it. Let him know that all people are human and fallible. And especially let him know that not all of their actions should be imitated.

If your daughter wants to copy a rock icon, look to see what she likes about that star. Let her know that some outfits are great for the stage, but not to be worn to the mall. Focus her on the reality that the star's life is not her life. And discuss how the star got to where she is--what work did she have to do to get there? How many years did it take? What sacrifices did she make?

Interest your child in biographies of real people. Amelia Earhart was, and is, a hero to me. I read all I could find about her when I was a kid. Let your child see the struggles people go through like Helen Keller and Anne Frank. They will learn that if those people can triumph and succeed, then they can also. Show them by examples that life is not always easy and it is not all about them. But if they work hard and believe in themselves, good things will come to them and/or to others.

We are humans. God has given us an amazing ability to rise to any challenge, to triumph over adversity, to scale or tunnel under any obstacle in our path. Others have done it and so can we!

And who is my hero now? Well, I am back to my dad.

Grandparents Are Cool!

Me and my Texas cowgirls

Thinking back to when I was having babies, those were exciting times. I loved planning for the baby, wondering if I would have a boy or girl. We didn't have much money, but I sewed and scrimped and finally had all the things I needed for the baby's room. My parents lived 1000 miles away so there was not much they could do from there, but that was okay.

This was my baby and I wanted to make the decisions. I was going to be the mommy and I knew I would not make the mistakes my parents did. It never occurred to me that they actually didn't make that many errors, nor did it occur to me that I might make a few of my own. The point was that I was responsible for this baby, not the grandparents. Did they give me advice? Of course. Was all of it requested? Nope.

When I became a grandma, I did not know what my role was. Was I an additional parent? Was I a playmate? Was I supposed to tell my kids everything they could do better and encourage what they did right? What was I supposed to do?

Finally, I did what has worked for me in the past. I thought back to my child rearing days. Then it all became clear. Who am I to tell my kids what they did was right or wrong? That was for them to figure out, just like I did. It is their family and their responsibility. It is not mine. Whoa, that really takes the heat off me!

Luckily my kids share my values and we have a very few differences so far on the subject of child rearing. But when we do, I try to abide by their rules--even if it is not how I did it with them. After all, I raised them to make good decisons. And they do, as evidenced by their choices for mates. I have done all I can for them. I mean, I wrote them a book (Now You Know What I Know: Parenting Wisdom of a Grandmother) about all my mistakes, for goodness sake. What else do they want? Now it is their turn to love, make mistakes, and nurture their children.

My job now is to occasionally babysit, love, play and just be "cool". As I was thinking back, I remembered how NOT COOL my parents were and how definitely cool my grandparents were. So now we have a few rules at Grandma's house but mostly we play and have fun. There is always a treat somewhere for them and we laugh a lot. My job is to be one of the very few people in their lives that they know love them unconditionally--no matter what. How special is that?

What if Your Child Divorced You?

I am 44 years old and I have these dreams.
I dream my 11 yr old son is hugging me. I dream he grabs my hand as we walk down a crowded street. I dream he smiles because he is happy to see me. All these dreams end the same way. I start crying because Adam and I are together again. Then I wake up with mixed emotions. I'm grateful for the few seconds of subconscious normalcy, but sad that my dreams are the only place Adam and I have a normal relationship. (from the book A Family's Heartbreak: A Parents Introduction to Parental Alienation by Michael Jefferies http://www.afamilysheartbreak.com)

April 25 is Parental Alienation Awareness Day and I am doing my part to spread the word about this viral disease that infects many families. Since I have been doing my radio show, Parents Rule!, I have heard so many stories from dads and moms who are alienated from the children they love so much. It is heart breaking to listen to the tales of lost affection and lost time with their kids, false claims of child abuse, tears shed, and dollars spent trying to put things right. And that is the affect on the alienated parent.

For the children, they have much higher rates of depression, low self-esteem, substance abuse, and suicide. These children are taught by the alienating parent to hold anger and resentment against the parent they are told no longer loves them. Sometimes they are even punished if they do not comply with the rule of hating the alienated parent. It is so sad. How can a child believe anyone can love them if they believe that a parent has stopped loving him? How can she ever have a normal relationship with another person?

The alienating parent for some reason--there are many reasons for this--has a need to separate the child from the other parent. This is usually the result of a divorce, but not always. Phone calls are not answered or returned. Visits are cancelled or become very uncomfortable due to the pressure on the child to show anger or disinterest in the alienated parent. Some parents have been arrested on trumped up charges of abuse. It is all so ugly and it must stop.

Unfortunately, the family court system in most states is useless in preventing or stopping this atrocity. Many alienated parents lose their jobs and fortunes trying to reconnect with their beloved child--most times, to no avail.

My show next week features the author referenced at the beginning of this blog. We are going to discuss his story and what can be done to fix the broken system in which these parents are trying to work. It will be a good show, so tune in Thurs April 15th 2-3 pm EST at http://www.americaswebradio.com. Listen is and find out what you can do to prevent this from happening to you.

Seattle School Facilitates Abortion Without Parental Consent

In my goal of providing timely parenting information to my readers/listeners, I am bringing this sad story to you. According to all the news outlets today, a Seattle high school's teen health center not only tested a girl for pregnancy without parental consent, it also sent her for an abortion. http://abcnews.go.com/Health/teen-abortion-high-school/story?id=10189694 This event is getting a lot of play on the internet and there are mixed feelings about this.

Apparently, this is legal in Washington state as well as 12 or 13 other states. Why? Why is this considered the right thing to do? It is just another example of the erosion of parental rights in the United States. Teen pregnancy and abortion are very important issues in the life of a teen. They need to be discussed at home with the family, not with strangers who do not have the child's best interest at heart. Advice from her parents is what that child needed.

Abortion is not without risk, physically or emotionally. What if the girl had died? What if she had a botched abortion and could never have children again? What if, after the abortion, she got depressed and committed suicide? I have know several people who have had abortions and the majority of them dealt with guilt and depression afterward. Wouldn't this child need her family for support of any decision?

What did the school tell this teen girl? "We had no idea this was being facilitated on campus," said the mother. "They just told her that if she concealed it from her family, that it would be free of charge and no financial responsibility." So they actively counseled her to keep the secret from her parents. That is just wrong, period.

When I was a teen, I did not have sex. Not because I didn't want to, but because I didn't think I could face my parents if I got pregnant or caught a disease. It was a deterrant for me and for many others. Is that a bad thing? I don't think so. Teens are not emotionally capable of handling a sexual relationship. They are just learning to deal with the crazy hormone surges and mood changes that come with puberty and adolescence. Teens having sex too early is a recipe for a very bad emotional soup.

Even though I would have been afraid to tell my parents, I know they would have supported me and helped me make the right decision about what should be done. Would they have been angry? Absolutely. Would they have caused a scene? No question. But when all was said and done, they would have been there for me just like they were for every other crisis in my life. And so would practically every other parent.

Abortion back then was still illegal so that would not have been on the table. But we would have talked about keeping the baby versus adoption. Yes, they would have been disappointed. Every parent is when their child has to face a situation like that.

It doesn't mean that the parent stops loving that child. What it should mean is that they discuss their feelings openly and frankly. Information for parents and child is vital and they can get it from various sources, such as a pediatrician. Then they sit down as a family and decide what is best for the baby and for the teen.

What should NEVER happen is for the government or a school to usurp the parental role in such a situation. I think it is criminal to encourage a child to hide something like that from a parent. I am just sick to know that it is legal in so many states. This should be a wake up call for parents. Find out the laws in your state. Lobby to have such a horrendous law repealed if you have one. Stand up for parents rights. What if this had been your child? How would you have felt?

Schools in Our Bedrooms? No Way!

Were you as outraged as I was about the story from PA in which a school official secretly activated a webcam on a laptap loaned to a student? The only response from the officials that I can find on internet searches is that they can turn on the webcam to locate a missing laptop. No problem with that here.

But this does not seem to be the case with Blake Robins. He says he was just eating candy and using the computer at home. The next day he was called into the school office and accused of possibly selling drugs. For proof, they produced a photo taken of him from the webcam the night before. Was it drugs or candy he was eating that night? I am sure I don't know, but this family insists it was candy.

Regardless, what right did the school have to turn on the webcam in that case? Not once have the officials claimed that the laptop was reported missing or lost. Is this just a case of an over-zealous administrator? Or a pervert hoping to see something that is better left private? There is certainly more to this story and I hope the full truth comes out.

How many more kids have potentially been victimized without their knowledge by this vice principal? We need to know.

Word of warning: A "free" computer may not be that free after all.

Helping Children Through Nightmares

How many of us have had nightmares in our lives? They can be really scary--so much so that you don't want to go back to sleep sometimes. And our children have them too. How are we parents supposed to help our kids feel better after a nightmare when we don't know how to do it for ourselves?



One thing we can do is listen to the details of the nightmare. Have the child tell you exactly what happened. Yes, I know this is probably 3 am but she needs you right now, not 5 hours from now. As the child talks about the dream, discuss it with her on her level. If it is an older child, maybe you could suggest that the monster in the dream may really be the math test that she is nervous about. If it is a small child, go through the room and look everywhere for the monster. Then do a monster removal dance or ceremony in which you tell the monster that it cannot come back.



Sometimes, just letting the child snuggle next to you for a few minutes in your bed will make them feel more at ease. Or I have also gotten in bed with the child (in their bed) to "protect" them if the monster comes back. It never did, because it knew I was there.



The next day, maybe the child could draw a picture of what scared him in the dream and you can talk about it. Talking about whatever it is will minimize the effect on the child. Have a dream dictionary so you can both look up the meanings of certain dream symbols.



When we have an understanding of what dreams are and what the symbology is, dreaming takes on a whole new role in our lives. It is there that our conscious lets down and we can get messages or creative ideas. According to Anne Hill, dreamworker and host of Dream Talk Radio http://www.annehill.org/ , dreams of all sorts, even nightmares, should be celebrated because they are trying to teach us or tell us something.

WAHM's, Need a Marketing Edge?

So many moms are running a home-based business these days in order to make ends meet. As you have discovered, it is important to have some kind of edge; a reason for someone to open your email or read your direct mail piece.

First, let me say that I don't usually use this blog to promote products, but I have used this one effectively in the past. So I want to share it with you. Besides, it is just fun.

Heidi Richards Mooney has developed the Quirky Marketing Calendar- How to Use Zany and Non-traditional Holidays to Promote Your Business 365 Days a Year (4th Edition). Like any calendar, it is full of dates. Unlike any calendar, it explains why that date is important. For instance, today is February 11th. It is White Shirt Day--so offer a discount to anyone wearing a white shirt or give a prize to every 3rd white shirt that comes through the door. Think of how many people will come into your business or check your website if you are offering a zany special every day...or every week.

Check it out by clicking on the icon on this blog site. Have fun with it.

Want To Be On TV?

Lately I have been watching a show on CMT called World's Strictest Parents. Interesting. For me, it is very thought provoking. If you haven't seen it, here is the skinny: kids with respet issues raised in not strict homes are sent to very strict homes for a week to learn how good they had it at home. Living under different standards from their families back home, the teens are subject to consequences for breaking rules and skipping chores while the strict parents attempt to mend their ways.

It is sad to me that so many kids feel so entitled to everything they have and do not have to work for anything. What happened to doing chores around the house? Has that suddenly become illegal? How do parents expect their kids to go out into the real world and become successful when they don't have a clue how to take care of themselves, let alone a business or a job?

The strict parents on the show are even more strict than I was--insert my kids here who are asking, is that possible? Some of what they expect these lazy, indulged kids to do is out there but is also eye-opening for them. And the funny thing is that the kids develop attachments to the strict parents because everything is tempered with love and sincerity. Children know when you are being fake and when you are really interested in them.

For me, it is a lesson to all parents to teach responsibility and respect to kids: for themselves, for their family, for other people, and for nature.

The best part is that now they are casting for new unruly kids and strict parents for upcoming episodes. If you are interested, you can click on this link: http://www.theworldsstrictestparents.com/

Happy parenting!

Pick Me Up and Let Me Walk

Communications with our children is always a challenge--no matter what the age. Some of my grandchildren are being taught Baby Sign in an effort to improve pre- and early speech communication. There are also programs out there that are meant to help kids learn to read at an early age. I love that so much emphasis is being placed on communication and books and reading. It is an area that has been too long overlooked.

Having said that, there are times when our kids communicate with us in no uncertain terms. There is no mistaking the message. One of those instances occurred yesterday at my son's house. His 8 month old son loves for you to hold his fingers and let him walk around the house. Yesterday we had all had a several turns and our aching backs told us to let him crawl for a while. My son, Nathanael's dad, had him last, laid him on the carpet, and let go of his little fingers.

Nathanael crawled about 4 inches before he started talking--it was baby gibberish, but it was clear that he was pissed. He would turn his head back to his daddy, give him an evil look, and start in jabbering again in that frustrated voice. We were all pretty sure what he wanted. So Nathanael's dad presented his fingers and the baby, grabbing them, scrambled to his feet with a big smile on his face. And they were off! Very clearly, this child will be a good communicator.

Find ways to help you kids communicate from the time they are born. It is a big help to you as you try to unravel their differing communication patterns.

Since I am talking about communication and reading and such, let me mention to anyone in the Atlanta Metro area that Cathy Puett Miller will be at Yawn's Bookstore in Canton, GA on Feb. 11 for a book signing. Her books, Anytime Reading Readiness, a guidebook for parents of 3-6 year olds AND Before They Read, a partner book for teachers of preschool AND kindergarten will be featured.

Cathy was my guest on Parents Rule! on Dec 3 discussing these very topics. She was delightful and informative. The show can still be heard or downloaded from the following site: http://www.radiosandysprings.com/showpages/parents.php So go say hi and check out her books.