My first guest blogger is Annie Burnside and you will benefit from her wise words--Pat
In the modern age of texts, tweets, and status updates, it is of utmost importance that parents maintain open lines of face-to-face, soul-to-soul communication with their children. This does not mean resisting a highly technological world, but rather continually exploring new ways to connect with one another both on and beyond the keyboard. As children get older, parents must observe carefully what their children enjoy and meet them there as often as they can. This may at times include technology in different forms, but should not become the main focus within a family. The more attuned parents are to their children’s interests, the better able they are to utilize those interests as opportunities for expanded connection.
As children mature, the interactions between parent and child shift greatly. Part of this change is due to quantity of time spent together, but the nature of the hours shared also shifts dramatically. Today’s children often become immersed in a world of technology and friendships that may seem quite foreign to parents. Parents can view all new interests as pathways to greater awareness and connection and tailor them to fit into family life. To light that path, parents must continually assess whether they are offering a true understanding of core concepts such as authenticity, self-love, connectedness and presence in tandem with their child’s inevitable foray into a fast-paced and ever-changing world. Parents must not only teach these concepts but also model ways for their children to integrate them into life experiences and relationships.
The invitation for all parents is to actively participate in as many areas of their children’s lives as possible without decreasing their natural move towards independence. Their interests when viewed from an expanded perspective offer rich material and opportunity to connect with them in deep and joyous ways. Songs, movies, and all veins of creative expression (even technology) provide optimal entry points into daily conversation and in-depth discussion. Parents can utilize everyday life to dissect and review the core concepts mentioned above to expand perspective and enhance the parent/child bond. The space and opportunity to discuss the touchstones of the day can be created through a weekly family discussion or a nightly five-minute chat at bedtime. Parents must be continually on the lookout for a bridge into their children’s world.
As children grow older, the sharing is of a different nature, but stems from the same loving bond as before even if the child does not outwardly express this deeply felt connection. Parents must trust that it is there and forge ahead in the desire to keep intimacy alive. It becomes the parent’s job to tap into the essence of what their children enjoy even if the form does not fully resonate. Parents should take the time every so often to close their eyes to recall in their heart the feeling of coming into their own passions when they were the same age as their children. The technology available is more advanced today, but it is important for parents to remember the feeling of listening to a popular song or watching a favorite show each week. If parents can access their inner-adolescent, they will have a much greater chance of connecting now with their own children.
Parents can open themselves to the possibility that they can move into their children’s world a bit more and enjoy the ride with them rather than in opposition to them. As parents give their children permission to be authentic in their choices, they must also offer them the parental insight that there are multiple angles to every choice. Parents can encourage transparency and honesty by creating a family structure that helps children monitor their choices—such as computer use on the first floor only. Parents should not be afraid to expect and enforce accountability, while at the same time remain open to the child’s new world. It is imperative that parents take the time to teach children that current choices affect future reality. In other words, parents should assist them in coming to understand that they are a source, not an effect—joy begets more joy, inspiration begets more inspiration, and the opposite.
Conscious parenting requires active participation in all aspects of family life, connecting not only within the parents’ comfort zones but also within the children’s. Parents can begin to intuitively feel for the openings to interact richly with their children that occur naturally rather than push too hard at the wrong time. The teenage years are fast and fleeting. There is much sharing, laughter, togetherness, and JOY to be had. As parents model authentic living and deep connection with others, their beloved children just may follow suit in their own way, through not only their face-to-face, soul-to-soul interactions, but through their inevitable online interactions as well.
Bio: A modern bridge between the mainstream and the mystical, Annie Burnside is a soul nurturer specializing in conscious relationships and spiritual development. Her spiritual support practice assists others in balancing the exterior world with an interior focus. Annie teaches workshops, speaks publicly and writes the Soul to Soul Perspective blog for the Chicago Tribune, a regular blog for ModernMom.com, and the family consciousness column for Evolving Your Spirit Magazine. She lives with her husband and three children in Chicago, IL. http://www.annieburnside.com/
No comments:
Post a Comment