Australia Is on My Butt

While on my Panama trip to visit Logan and What's Their Names I decided I wanted to go on an adventure trip with my son, Logan's Dad. No, that is not him in the photo. That is a howler monkey that almost made me wet my pants (if I hadn't been so dehydrated) when he screeched, or growled right above me. They sound a lot like a lion to me. Anyway we planned a mountain biking trip through the rainforest with Panama Pete (www.panamapeteadventures.com), who is terrific, by the way, and I really recommend him.

My other son, Michael (who still has a name because he is not yet a dad), said before I went that I should do any of the trips except the biking one. "You know you always fall off, Mom." I chose to ignore his negativity and have a great time on the 14K bike excursion. And I was doing really well for being 57 and not having been on a bike in a couple of years. That is Patspeak for the guys had to keep waiting for me, but I was not walking the bike.

We were crossing a bridge when I decided I needed to walk instead of ride across and as I put my foot down...I am not sure what happened next. All I know is I was sandwiched between the bridge and my bike. It all happened in slow motion but there was nothing I could do to prevent it--you know that feeling? Naturally the first thing I did was curse Michael because obviously it was due to his negativity that I was in that position. Then I started laughing. The guys came back for me, thank goodness. Panama Pete asked if I was okay and in the same breath asked if the bike was okay. I assured him that I protected it with my body so it was fine; for which he was extremely grateful.

The first thing I noticed the next day was the enormous bruise on my butt that looked just like a map of Australia. And it is practically actual size! I thought about doing something with it on E-bay but could not quite figure out what, so I let it go.

Of course the first thing smarty Michael asked was if I fell. I started to give him this story about trying to protect myself from giant tsetse flies who were protected by the Guacamole Act, but I don't think he saw the original movie, The In Laws. (By the way, if you haven't seen it with Peter Falk do yourself a favor and see it...) So I explained that since I was almost stopped at the time, it did not really qualify as a fall.

All in all, the trip was great. We saw toucans, leaf cutter ants, Coati, blue morpho butterfly, howler monkeys, and a lizard that I think is some kind of iguana. Pete pointed out tarantula holes in a bank, but when I asked him to prove it was really tarantula holes by pulling one out, he declined. I wonder...! The plants were beautiful and we had a great time.

Of course, I had the bruises the next day but I could walk without too much ibuprophen. So it was a successful trip, one I would encourage anyone to take--especially when you get a chance to spend a whole day by yourself with your married son.