Learn to become still, and to take your attention away from what you don’t want, and all the emotional charge around it, and place the attention on what you wish to experience…Energy flows where attention goes.
Michael Bernard Beckwith, from The Secret
There is so much truth to that statement. When you expect good things, good things happen and vice versa. People who expect bad things also tend to make the decisions that put bad things in their lives, such as women who don’t see their own worth marrying someone who also doesn’t see their worth and treats them badly.
As for me, I remember sitting my daughter down when she was 12 or 13 to tell her that we were going to have a tough time over the next few years. My goal was to assure her that no matter how bad it got and how mad we got at each other, I would always love her. I wanted her to know that the hormone fluctuations and intense emotions are normal. My intent was good.
But I believe that if I had not had that talk with her, things may have been smoother through her teen years. I set the expectation that it would be awful and, many times, it was. I have wondered how different things might have been if I had set a different expectation.
Maybe I should have found a way to celebrate her entrance into womanhood and told her how great she could be—that no matter what happened around her, she was beautiful inside and out, that I was always there for her and loved her, that she had all the tools she needed to make it through the hormone fluctuations with flying colors.
What if I my thoughts, and ultimately hers, had always had a positive expectation instead of a negative one? I dreaded her becoming a teenager because my mom and I had such struggles. Who knows if I could have had an impact? Something inside of me tells me that we would not have had such a difficult time, however.
So cherish your kids. From the time they are little, see them as the little individuals they are. They are not extensions of you and your dreams. They have their own dreams and lessons to learn. Encourage them by word, action, and thought. The more you know they will succeed, they more they will know it too. It is going to be exciting to watch!
If anyone has an example of how this type of thinking has changed their lives or their kids' lives, please post a comment and let everyone know.
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1 comment:
I just wrote a similar post on my blog following something my grandson said after soccer practice today. The words we speak to our children when they're young can have a long-lasting effect.
I do believe that's why I have always strived to achieve because--in spite of the mother/daughter conflicts--my mother always told me there wasn't anything I couldn't do, and I believed her.
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