Peaceful Divorce is Best for the Kids

The more you focus on anger, the more anger you will feel. Focus on the children now instead.
Belinda Rachman (guest on Parents Rule! radio show http://www.divorce-inaday.com

If you have listened to Parents Rule! radio show or read this blog any time at all, you know that this is a pet subject of mine. Divorce is terrible. It is devastating for all involved. There are times when there really is no other choice—it takes two committed people to save a troubled marriage and no marriage should remain intact when abuse is present.

Peaceful divorce is hard to find because when you finally arrive at that stage, there is a lot of anger on both sides. But please, look at the faces of your children. Feel their pain. Put yourself in their place. What is best for them? That is where your focus should be. If divorce is best, then make it as easy on them as possible.

They love both of the parents and are being ripped away from one of them. It is not their fault, but they are the most affected. Please keep their emotional well being first and foremost in your thoughts and actions during this time. Mediation is a peaceful way to come to the end of a marriage. Find ways to be civil to each other—for the sake of your children.

If there is a chance to save the marriage, take it. Marriage is not supposed to be disposable, especially when children are involved. Do the hard work and remember why you married that person in the first place, Find those qualities again. It is very hard being a single parent—on both parents and on the kids.

If divorce is the only answer for you, whatever you do, focus on the kids. When you focus your attention away from your immediate pain to their needs, you find that you make better decisions for all of you. Give a little, get a little. Constantly remind the kids that both parents still love them and always will. They cannot hear that enough. And, most important, remind them over and over that it is not their fault.

The Future is Here

Last week, I was privileged to attend my niece's graduation from high school. My dad, my stepmom, and I made the trek (or, to be truthful, the flight) from Georgia to Ohio for the big event. We are all very proud of her achievements while in school.

However, I had been feeling a bit pessimistic lately about our country's steady path to Socialism under the current administration. The success of the US has always been the inventiveness and hard work of our people. Socialism punishes achievement and rewards mediocrity, and therefore do not create the great advances in civilization that our country has been famous for.

However, as I listened to the Senior chorus of West Branch High School in Beloit, OH sing the National Anthem my spirit was lifted. Then I listened to the 20 dozen commencement speeches. Ok, there were only 10 or 11. As I heard what those young adults had to say about how they see the future, my hopes again rose in my heart. These were kids who believe in our wonderful country and all it has to offer. Their parents taught them to be proud to be an American, not ashamed of it. These young people believe in the future and that they can create a better world than the one they were born into. I believe they can, too.

As we look across this country, many are graduating from high schools and colleges who have the faith of this group. We must trust in them because they will be responsible for the future. As parents and citizens, we must do all we can to hand over to them a country that is free, diverse, and productive. It is the best legacy we can give them.

So, for now, thank you, graduates of West Branch. Congratulations and God Bless You. You are our hope of a better future. I think we are in good hands. Go Warriors!