A Little Elbow Grease Can Reap Big Benefits with Kids

Kids work hard when they want to work hard, and this happens only when they are motivated to do so by some positive internal goal, and not by fear or because they are worried about disappointing others. They work hard because they value hard work. Instilling kids with values like this is the first step on the long road to real success.
Rafe Esquith, author of Lighting Their Fires: How Parents and Teachers Can Raise Extraordinary Kids in a Mixed Up, Muddled Up, Shook Up World http://www.hobartshakespeareans.org/

Kids are taught by example as well as by word. If they see us, as parents, slacking on whatever it is we need to do, then they probably will also. But if they see us giving our all every day, they are likely to emulate that value.

It was late in my parenting life when I learned that threats and pleading and ignoring don’t get their rooms cleaned. Maybe when they were young, if I had made it a game to clean up, they would have been more willing. Or if there was a reward for it.

My 4 yr old grandson was over a few weeks ago and he asked if he could help me do some yard work. After I picked myself up off the floor and while I hustled him outside before he could change his mind, I asked him why he asked to help. Turns out his mom had a reward system in place and he had to get a certain number of stars to earn a toy he wanted. He got stars for doing jobs he was not asked to do. For instance, if he cleared his plate off the table without being asked, he got a star. If he picked up toys when finished and without being told to, he got a star. Hard work was something he was willing to do to get that toy—my daughter is so much smarter than I was. So we worked in the yard and he soaked me with the hose and we had a great time, all of which I reported back to mom.

Encourage kids, set up a reward system, make it fun, whatever it takes to teach kids the value of hard work. Rafe recommends gardening because kids don’t get instant gratification. Instead they slowly see the benefits of their work, with a reward at the end of the product they were growing. Working with them cleaning their room or gardening can also be fun. Keep it light and make it a good time. We never have too much time together.

We have to reverse the trend toward expectations of instant gratification instead of the benefit of elbow grease in this society—and it starts at home.

How Can You Have a Family Insurance Plan That Has NO Maternity Option?

Time for me to vent a little--ok, a lot. One of our kids is thinking about having another child. So, what is the problem, Pat? That is a good thing, right?

The issue is their health insurance. When they had the first baby, my daughter in law was working for a company that offered health insurance. She has since been laid off and started a small business of her own.

They are now both self-employed and have a private family plan. But, get this, there is no maternity option. I mean, none! I was sure there would be a rider you could purchase extra, but no. How in the heck can you have a family plan without the option of making a family? Only one insurance company in the state of GA offers a maternity option with a private family plan--and it is new in the past month or so. Now if they worked for a company and had group insurance, no problem.

So we called the Insurance Commissioner's (John Oxendine) office. What was their response? "Really? We have not heard of this problem before now?" REALLY? Shouldn't the insurance commissioner know what the insurance companies in his state offer? I'm just saying. They did offer to "look into it". All my daughter in law had to do was send in a letter of request and wait several weeks for their review of the matter.

Now, you all know that I am not a fan of universal healthcare. It causes more issues than it solves. But this type of BS, excuse my language, is why so many people are supporting it. The insurance companies wail about the perils of universal healthcare. But they are causing a big part of the problem. Lawsuits are another issue that cause this disconnect with the needs of the insured--but that is an issue for another rant.

The insurance company representative told her that most couples are paying for the prenatal care and the birth, then the insurance kicks in after the mom and child are discharged from the hospital. Also the insurer said they will pay for a "medically necessary" C-Section. Of course, they could not tell us what is deemed medically necessary since each "each case is measured on its own merit." Whatever that means!

All this is well and good (and expensive) if it is a perfectly normal pregnancy, delivery, and baby. The parents would be out of pocket $5000-$10,000. But what if something goes wrong? Oops, too bad for you. The costs just skyrocketed.

It is despicable. This hard working couple cannot have another child until this gets resolved. They are great parents who pay their bills and pay their taxes. They provide a loving home and a good example for their child. They are active members of their community and just really good people. They would love to have their kids close together, but now it is looking like that may not happen.

But anyone on welfare can have as many babies as they want, whenever they want. They just go down to Grady and walk out with the baby--and no bill. The tax payers have paid it. This is just wrong. Can't my share of the tax money go to help my own? And why isn't the Georgia Insurance Commissioner on top of this? Why aren't they supporting the entrepreneurs of the state instead of treating them like second class citizens?

Has anyone else had a similar problem? I would love to hear about it. Also, we need to be letting our insurance commissioners know that this is not acceptable. What do you all think?