50 is the new 0

Reading USA Today this morning I saw an article about a few schools across the country that want to make 50 the minimum grade any child could receive. Yes, 50 is still a failing grade, but if you average it with other scores, it could make the difference between a F and a D on the report card. Their argument is that it would give a child more incentive to work harder in school.

PUH--LEEZE!

How does this prepare a child to become an adult and live a successful life?

I stayed motivated in school for several reasons:

• my dad's spankings if I did not (my mom's flyswatter did not quite motivate me as much as daddy. I am not saying he was ever abusive--he wasn't. He just had a way of getting my attention.)
• being grounded for 6 weeks until the next report card came out, therefore having to spend every free moment with my parents was not my idea of fun--while all my friends were going to movies, dances, and just hanging out,
• if I did not get good grades I could not go away for college (see #2 above..)

So what am I saying? Looks like my motivation to do well is thanks to my PARENTS, NOT THE SCHOOL SYSTEM. What a concept!

We don't need the schools to eliminate all competition in class. We don't need the schools to motivate our children. We don't need the teachers to pass kids just because they don't want to deal with them another year. We don't need the government more involved in our families!

What we need is for parents to stop buying their kids stuff...who needs more stuff? Now we have to have 4000 sq foot homes, 3 car garages (not for the cars--they sit in the driveway), and 3 storage sheds to hold all our stuff .

We do need parents to spend time with kids helping them with their homework. Talk to the teachers and find out what your kids need to succeed. If your child isn't doing well, don't assume it is the teacher's fault. Look at your child--no, that child is not perfect...! See what is going on in all of your lives. Parents, set a standard and a consequence for not meeting that standard. Then do not give reprieves from the consequences just because your little sweetie looks up with those big innocent eyes and promises to do better next time.

Encourage your kids to study and teach them good study habits. Make it a priority. I am not saying to put so much pressure on your kids that they need tranq's but, rather, to live by my dad's favorite saying to me, "If it is worth doing, it is worth doing well." Push your kids to do their best and learn all they can learn. Don't let them slack off while you do the science project or write the paper for them. Maybe their best is a C and not an A. Ok--but a D or an F is not ever acceptable.

Motivation for acheivement has to be taught and encouraged at home. It is not the school's job.

What is next? If you have 15 students with A's and 15 with C's will we split the difference and give them all B's?

Who is my advisor?

As the parent of grown children, I can look back and laugh at all the times I had to be firm with them. Were they thankful? Believe it or not, they weren't! I remember a lot "I hate you's" being hurled in my direction which were immediately followed by the inevitable slamming door.

I did not let that perturb me. There was no way that they could really hate someone who loved them as much as I did. So I would ignore them or yell "Well, I love you" through the still rattling door.

In my memory it was my daughter and I who performed this ritual most often.

The other day, we were at the park with her boys (yes, I cursed her into having one just like her..) and I asked her advice about something. As always, she carefully thought before she answered and then gave me exactly what I needed.

Later I thought about how many times over the past few years we have called each other to ask the other's opinion. What a treasure that is! Erika always gives great counsel. She is very intellingent, but also very intuitive. It is what makes her a great mom. And a great advisor.

Who would have thought back then that she would be my best friend, the woman I most trust in the whole world? Funny, isn't it?

I also believe that the fact that I enforced the rules of the house, despite her tirades about how awful I was, helped to make her the woman she is today. Moms, trust your inner self that knows the right thing to do. Be consistent with love and with discipline. That is how you prepare your children for the rigors of the adult world.

My daughter has seen more than her share of hardships and faces each new challenge with a courage I can not imagine. I know some of what I taught her helped her be prepared for what she had to face and how she is winning every battle.

When I watch her with her children, I see a lot of me (the good part)...maybe that is not so bad.

My best worst game of golf...

This week I joined several others in a golf tournament for a local charity. Coming off a day last weekend where I had my best golf shots in a long time, I was confident that everyone at the tournament would be talking about me when the day was over. They would be saying things like, "Wow, she has really improved." and " I wish I was that consistent with my putting" and "I can't believe she got a hole in one and won the longest drive contest in one day!"

My first drive on the first hole went for, oh, about 10 feet (stop lifting your head, Pat) and things got worse from there. I think in 18 holes I had 3 shots I was proud of. Not my vision at all.

It is obvious what made this my worst day, but what was best about it?

My son played in my foursome. He, too, has had better golf days. But we laughed and joked and teased each other all afternoon. Now that he is a grown married man, I get less time to do that than I used to.

So the sun was shining, the temperature was perfect, and I got to spend a whole aftternoon with my Michael. It just doesn't get any better than that! (well, unless one of us had actually gotten a hole in one and won the Mercedes!)