Finding Bliss While Parenting

As parents, we love our kids--that goes without saying. When the baby is born we have that elation and excitement, then things go downhill. Lack of sleep, hormone surges, not knowing what to do with a crying baby, problems with breastfeeding, and such, all contribute a decreased sense of excitement about your choice to have a baby.

What can you do to not get burned out as parents? First realize that you cannot do it all. If you have a small child, don't expect to be able to keep a spotless house. Set realistic expectations for yourself. Trust me, as an experienced parent, they are only little for a short amount of time. Make the most of it. If other people don't want to come to your house because it is not always picked up, who cares?

Music is a great source of peace for me. I can be really stressed and put on Jimmy Buffett or Jackson Browne and I calm right down. Some people react that way to classical music or easy jazz--whatever works, keep it playing softly in the background. It will help soothe you without you even being aware of it.

When your new baby is sleeping, you sleep. Don't worry about straightening up the house. Take the time to renew yourself. Take that much needed bath, sleep, meditate, or whatever makes you feel rested. Again, don't worry about the house. You need your rest to keep up those late night and early morning feedings.

Learn to do some baby massage techniques. Bath time is a great opportunity to do this. You can have relaxing music, soft lights, and lavendar scented baby lotion. Massage works out his little aches and pains and he will sleep better. Talk to him during the massage, or sing if you want. It will be a calming time for both of you.

As your child gets older, take time to exercise. You can do it with your child or without. Exercise releases endorphins which contribute to a sense of well-being. A good aerobic exercise will also work out stress. I discovered running (well, slow jogging would be a better name for it--ok, it was just barely faster than walking, but it helped.) Anyway, my kids figured out pretty quick it made me less grumpy. Periodically I would be on one tirade or another and one of them would go get my running shoes and ask if I wanted to go for a run. The message was sent and received.

Ask for help! If you need some sleep, ask your mom or your husband or a neighbor to watch the child for you for a little while. Sleep, especially with a newborn, is essential and on short supply. Don't think or care that someone may think less of you. If they have ever had a child, they will be glad to help for a few hours. Have formula or a bottle of breast milk available for them and go to bed. Any mom needs energy and that comes from getting enough rest. So do it.

Find ways to have fun with your kids. Even on days when they are acting up, you can find a game or toy you can both play with to turn the day around. Don't forget about exercise. That is the best thing for an energetic, driving-you-crazy kid. She will burn off some of that energy and the two of you will have had fun.

Take a moment each day to appreciate the wonderful miracle you have produced. It may be harder while you are wiping crayon marks off the wall or trying to get magic marker designs off of his skin. But you will find the right time and then think about all the wonderful blessings you have had since that baby came into your world.

Then remember, it is only a start--there are so many more amaziing things headed your way!