Wacko Jacko or Mistreated Michael?

Michael Jackson. Just saying his name evokes emotions in people--worship, envy, sadness, disgust, revulsion, love, hate, pity, and many more. To me, I don't understand this man-boy who seemed to never grow up. I forget who in the memorial service called him Peter Pan, but that is how I have always seen him.

Was he guilty of molesting young boys? Was he inappropriate? By our standards, he was inappropriate, but what were his standards? Was he being honest when he said he was just showing them pure love, not sexual love? None of us will ever know because we were not present. In my mind, he may have been trying to give what he did not receive as a child.

What I do believe is that somewhere in his past, abuse took place. There were many stories of his father's abuse when the kids were growing up and, again, we will never know the truth. But something happened to that cute little guy who sang on the Ed Sullivan Show so many years ago. And, as parents, we need to see Michael as an example of what can happen when we do not take care of the little ones in our charge. The reasons I believe that there was abuse are:

• the self mutilation he inflicted on himself with the mulitple plastic surgeries, always trying to make himself another person,
• the fact that he appeared to be arrested in his emotional development and was childlike for his entire life,
• he always wanted to be surrounded by children that he could love,
• every photo I have ever seen of Michael and his parents shows him leaning away from his father (of course I have not seen all the photos and that could be wrong),
• and the Jackson children are all so careful and so quick to circle the wagons around one that is in trouble, especially Michael. That does not mean that abuse occurred but it is a symptom.

I do respect the fact that he lived his life the way he wanted and did not let the criticism affect how he did things. I am sure he took it to heart and was pained by it, but he remained true to himself. Too many times we see former child stars who have serious issues with drugs or emotions or relationships. Why is that? I think it because they have been put too soon into an adult world for which they are not prepared.

Parents, pay attention to how you interact with your kids. This is especially true if they are a prodigy or have a special gift. Don't push them into adulthood too soon. Let them be kids. Love them and hold them. Let them play and be silly. If they have a gift, they will do it naturally and they will love it. Let them lead you on how involved they want to be. Of course, encourage them and provide opportunity for them to pursue the talent. But don't rob them of their precious innocent childhood.