Okay, here I go again--stepping out of my comfort zone. This weekend I am going to have a booth at the Suwanee Festival of Books to promote my two books. It is not natural for me to do this. I start to worry about all kinds of things: what if no one talks to me all day? what if I don't sell one book? what if someone comes by and tells me what a jerk I am? what if this and what if that?
So many times in my life I have been pushed or cajoled out of that comfort space and into a "scary" situation. And you know what? When it was all over, none of the "what if's" happened--or at least the most horrible of them didn't. Each time I learned something about myself that I didn't know--that I was stronger and more capable than I gave myself credit for. Each time when I looked back, I realized that I had enjoyed the experience.
So I guess this will be the same. And part of me is really excited to be there. What I suggest to you is find something in the next month or two that you think is beyond you--hike to the top of a mountain, write a book, learn a new language, take up a new hobby, doesn't matter what it is. Stretch yourself and get away from comfortable. Learn from it.
For me, to stand in a booth and promote my work is much harder than writing. But it is going to be a great event. So if you are in or near Suwnaee, GA August 28-29, come by and see me in booth D2 at the Suwanee Festival of Books. I have a gift for the first person who says they came because of this blog. There will other events, besides me: workshops, storytellers, book characters, educational events, food and much more! It is a free event, so bring the whole family. Hope to see you there.
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Gratitude Is the Root of the Joy Tree
An attitude of gratitude
When stuff has got you down
Can get you satisfatitude
And turn your world around
An attitude of gratitude
Hooray for what’s okay
Say thank you with emphatitude
And it’s a brand new day
Jimmy Buffett, An Attitude of Gratitude
As I have lived my life and learned my lessons, it has been made clear to me that gratitude is vital for happiness. Being grateful for what you have puts you in the present with peace of mind. Look around you. No matter what your current circumstances, you can find wonderful people, events, and things in your life today. Is it not the life you expected? Is that all bad?
A few years ago, I thought I was going to lose all the material things I had collected in my life. It was an awful time full of tears and sleepless nights. I cried to God to help me and in my soul I heard the answer was to be grateful for what I have.
So I looked around me and listed what I had for which I was the most grateful. The material things I was so worried about keeping were not even high on that list. After that, when I was worried and upset, I would think about that list and fall asleep saying a prayer of thanks to God instead of begging for help day in and day out.
Soon I was sleeping better and opportunities arose that let us get out of the difficulties and we actually got to keep our things. But it was a big lesson for me. Let it be a lesson to you and pass it on to your kids. That attitude of gratitude makes you look at life differently, more positively. We all need less negative in our lives—especially our kids.
So gratitude is the root of the joy tree. From solid grateful roots, the trunk and leaves grow--things such as a great career, wonderful family, a vacation here and there, good friends, and hopefully, security in your old age. Protect the tree's roots and it will live for a long time, bending in the wind but not breaking. It will be a shelter in times of storm and a peaceful retreat when you are stressed. But most of all, you can look at it everyday and enjoy its beauty and serenity.
When stuff has got you down
Can get you satisfatitude
And turn your world around
An attitude of gratitude
Hooray for what’s okay
Say thank you with emphatitude
And it’s a brand new day
Jimmy Buffett, An Attitude of Gratitude
As I have lived my life and learned my lessons, it has been made clear to me that gratitude is vital for happiness. Being grateful for what you have puts you in the present with peace of mind. Look around you. No matter what your current circumstances, you can find wonderful people, events, and things in your life today. Is it not the life you expected? Is that all bad?
A few years ago, I thought I was going to lose all the material things I had collected in my life. It was an awful time full of tears and sleepless nights. I cried to God to help me and in my soul I heard the answer was to be grateful for what I have.
So I looked around me and listed what I had for which I was the most grateful. The material things I was so worried about keeping were not even high on that list. After that, when I was worried and upset, I would think about that list and fall asleep saying a prayer of thanks to God instead of begging for help day in and day out.
Soon I was sleeping better and opportunities arose that let us get out of the difficulties and we actually got to keep our things. But it was a big lesson for me. Let it be a lesson to you and pass it on to your kids. That attitude of gratitude makes you look at life differently, more positively. We all need less negative in our lives—especially our kids.
So gratitude is the root of the joy tree. From solid grateful roots, the trunk and leaves grow--things such as a great career, wonderful family, a vacation here and there, good friends, and hopefully, security in your old age. Protect the tree's roots and it will live for a long time, bending in the wind but not breaking. It will be a shelter in times of storm and a peaceful retreat when you are stressed. But most of all, you can look at it everyday and enjoy its beauty and serenity.
Monday, August 16, 2010
Welcome to the World: Open Letter to A Grandson
Dylan,
This world into which you were born is an amazing and complex place.
On one hand, there is conflict between countries and between people. It feels sometimes like the whole world is angry. There are wars and threats of war. There are natural disasters and man-made disasters. There are divorces and horrible custody battles. There are insults and intolerance.
But, on the other hand, there is great beauty and great kindness. There are people who are always standing ready to help someone else, no matter what it costs them. Through the disasters, many offer aid and comfort. Brows are wiped and injuries bandaged. Kind words are spoken and a gentle touch eases hearts.
As I look at your serenely sleeping face, I see the future. And it is good. You will be raised by loving parents who will provide what you need to grow into an adult—someone who will be as precious to them as your parents are to me. Never take for granted the gift of these two wonderful people who love you so dearly. It is the basis of who you will become.
They will love you, spoil you, and cherish you. But they will also teach you discipline, respect, and understanding. Some lessons, my sweet grandson, will be hard-learned and painful. Some will not. It is crucial for you to learn all of them—for you are the future.
Carl Sandberg, a great poet, once said, “A baby is God’s opinion that the world should go on.” You are that promise. As each new soul enters this world, a drop of new hope falls onto the arid ground. But, together, all of you will all produce enough nourishment to the world that it will once again flourish.
You will see the world with fresh eyes that will make us shake our heads in wonder. Someday you may do the same for mankind. Your world will be what you make it. Your destiny is in your hands. When I look into your eyes, I know the future is safe.
This world into which you were born is an amazing and complex place.
On one hand, there is conflict between countries and between people. It feels sometimes like the whole world is angry. There are wars and threats of war. There are natural disasters and man-made disasters. There are divorces and horrible custody battles. There are insults and intolerance.
But, on the other hand, there is great beauty and great kindness. There are people who are always standing ready to help someone else, no matter what it costs them. Through the disasters, many offer aid and comfort. Brows are wiped and injuries bandaged. Kind words are spoken and a gentle touch eases hearts.
As I look at your serenely sleeping face, I see the future. And it is good. You will be raised by loving parents who will provide what you need to grow into an adult—someone who will be as precious to them as your parents are to me. Never take for granted the gift of these two wonderful people who love you so dearly. It is the basis of who you will become.
They will love you, spoil you, and cherish you. But they will also teach you discipline, respect, and understanding. Some lessons, my sweet grandson, will be hard-learned and painful. Some will not. It is crucial for you to learn all of them—for you are the future.
Carl Sandberg, a great poet, once said, “A baby is God’s opinion that the world should go on.” You are that promise. As each new soul enters this world, a drop of new hope falls onto the arid ground. But, together, all of you will all produce enough nourishment to the world that it will once again flourish.
You will see the world with fresh eyes that will make us shake our heads in wonder. Someday you may do the same for mankind. Your world will be what you make it. Your destiny is in your hands. When I look into your eyes, I know the future is safe.
Friday, August 13, 2010
Does a Family Need a Dad?
This week, Jennifer Aniston made a big commotion by saying that a family does not need a dad--a single mom can handle parenting just fine. She was immediately attacked about this stance by many conservative spokespeople, including Bill O'Reilly.
So, what is your take on her comments?
First of all, let's remember that she was promoting her new movie in which the character gives up looking for Mr. Right and takes baby making into her own hands. Naturally she is going to put the movie in a good light--that is her job. If you haven't heard this story, here is the link to a synopsis: http://www.cnn.com/2010/SHOWBIZ/celebrity.news.gossip/08/13/aniston.oreilly.ppl/index.html
Having said that, I was a single mom for many years. Was it easy? Of course not. I never wanted to be divorced. We tried to make it work, but there came a time when divorce was truly the best choice for me, for him, and for our children.
It is my belief that children need both a male and a female influence in their lives. To grow and become the best individuals they can be, balance is important. That balance in the lives of my children came with all the influences in their lives. The female side came from me, their grandmothers, aunts, and the mothers of their friends. The male influences came from their father, their grandfathers, their uncles, fathers of friends, and eventually from my wonderful husband, Monty.
Any single mom can find balance in the lives of their children through extended family and friends. I know what it is like to desperately want to have a child. Gratefully, I never had to suffer through infertility or not finding the right guy. Well, okay, maybe I had not found the absolute right guy, as things turned out. But I did not know it at the time.
I had my children with little difficulty. Had I not, it is possible that I would have made the decision made by many women today--to have one anyway and raise it myself. Why is that wrong? Why is that diminishing dads? These women much prefer to have a dad in the home, but none have shown up. Why should their dreams of motherhood die?
There are ways that dads are diminished in this world. I am not going to get into that on this post, but it does happen every day. Aniston's comments, however, do not. They speak to a conscious choice of an adult woman who weighs the options and makes a choice. Her return comments were well chosen and I applaud them.
So, what is your take on her comments?
First of all, let's remember that she was promoting her new movie in which the character gives up looking for Mr. Right and takes baby making into her own hands. Naturally she is going to put the movie in a good light--that is her job. If you haven't heard this story, here is the link to a synopsis: http://www.cnn.com/2010/SHOWBIZ/celebrity.news.gossip/08/13/aniston.oreilly.ppl/index.html
Having said that, I was a single mom for many years. Was it easy? Of course not. I never wanted to be divorced. We tried to make it work, but there came a time when divorce was truly the best choice for me, for him, and for our children.
It is my belief that children need both a male and a female influence in their lives. To grow and become the best individuals they can be, balance is important. That balance in the lives of my children came with all the influences in their lives. The female side came from me, their grandmothers, aunts, and the mothers of their friends. The male influences came from their father, their grandfathers, their uncles, fathers of friends, and eventually from my wonderful husband, Monty.
Any single mom can find balance in the lives of their children through extended family and friends. I know what it is like to desperately want to have a child. Gratefully, I never had to suffer through infertility or not finding the right guy. Well, okay, maybe I had not found the absolute right guy, as things turned out. But I did not know it at the time.
I had my children with little difficulty. Had I not, it is possible that I would have made the decision made by many women today--to have one anyway and raise it myself. Why is that wrong? Why is that diminishing dads? These women much prefer to have a dad in the home, but none have shown up. Why should their dreams of motherhood die?
There are ways that dads are diminished in this world. I am not going to get into that on this post, but it does happen every day. Aniston's comments, however, do not. They speak to a conscious choice of an adult woman who weighs the options and makes a choice. Her return comments were well chosen and I applaud them.
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
How Can You Have a Family Insurance Plan That Has NO Maternity Option?
Time for me to vent a little--ok, a lot. One of our kids is thinking about having another child. So, what is the problem, Pat? That is a good thing, right?
The issue is their health insurance. When they had the first baby, my daughter in law was working for a company that offered health insurance. She has since been laid off and started a small business of her own.
They are now both self-employed and have a private family plan. But, get this, there is no maternity option. I mean, none! I was sure there would be a rider you could purchase extra, but no. How in the heck can you have a family plan without the option of making a family? Only one insurance company in the state of GA offers a maternity option with a private family plan--and it is new in the past month or so. Now if they worked for a company and had group insurance, no problem.
So we called the Insurance Commissioner's (John Oxendine) office. What was their response? "Really? We have not heard of this problem before now?" REALLY? Shouldn't the insurance commissioner know what the insurance companies in his state offer? I'm just saying. They did offer to "look into it". All my daughter in law had to do was send in a letter of request and wait several weeks for their review of the matter.
Now, you all know that I am not a fan of universal healthcare. It causes more issues than it solves. But this type of BS, excuse my language, is why so many people are supporting it. The insurance companies wail about the perils of universal healthcare. But they are causing a big part of the problem. Lawsuits are another issue that cause this disconnect with the needs of the insured--but that is an issue for another rant.
The insurance company representative told her that most couples are paying for the prenatal care and the birth, then the insurance kicks in after the mom and child are discharged from the hospital. Also the insurer said they will pay for a "medically necessary" C-Section. Of course, they could not tell us what is deemed medically necessary since each "each case is measured on its own merit." Whatever that means!
All this is well and good (and expensive) if it is a perfectly normal pregnancy, delivery, and baby. The parents would be out of pocket $5000-$10,000. But what if something goes wrong? Oops, too bad for you. The costs just skyrocketed.
It is despicable. This hard working couple cannot have another child until this gets resolved. They are great parents who pay their bills and pay their taxes. They provide a loving home and a good example for their child. They are active members of their community and just really good people. They would love to have their kids close together, but now it is looking like that may not happen.
But anyone on welfare can have as many babies as they want, whenever they want. They just go down to Grady and walk out with the baby--and no bill. The tax payers have paid it. This is just wrong. Can't my share of the tax money go to help my own? And why isn't the Georgia Insurance Commissioner on top of this? Why aren't they supporting the entrepreneurs of the state instead of treating them like second class citizens?
Has anyone else had a similar problem? I would love to hear about it. Also, we need to be letting our insurance commissioners know that this is not acceptable. What do you all think?
The issue is their health insurance. When they had the first baby, my daughter in law was working for a company that offered health insurance. She has since been laid off and started a small business of her own.
They are now both self-employed and have a private family plan. But, get this, there is no maternity option. I mean, none! I was sure there would be a rider you could purchase extra, but no. How in the heck can you have a family plan without the option of making a family? Only one insurance company in the state of GA offers a maternity option with a private family plan--and it is new in the past month or so. Now if they worked for a company and had group insurance, no problem.
So we called the Insurance Commissioner's (John Oxendine) office. What was their response? "Really? We have not heard of this problem before now?" REALLY? Shouldn't the insurance commissioner know what the insurance companies in his state offer? I'm just saying. They did offer to "look into it". All my daughter in law had to do was send in a letter of request and wait several weeks for their review of the matter.
Now, you all know that I am not a fan of universal healthcare. It causes more issues than it solves. But this type of BS, excuse my language, is why so many people are supporting it. The insurance companies wail about the perils of universal healthcare. But they are causing a big part of the problem. Lawsuits are another issue that cause this disconnect with the needs of the insured--but that is an issue for another rant.
The insurance company representative told her that most couples are paying for the prenatal care and the birth, then the insurance kicks in after the mom and child are discharged from the hospital. Also the insurer said they will pay for a "medically necessary" C-Section. Of course, they could not tell us what is deemed medically necessary since each "each case is measured on its own merit." Whatever that means!
All this is well and good (and expensive) if it is a perfectly normal pregnancy, delivery, and baby. The parents would be out of pocket $5000-$10,000. But what if something goes wrong? Oops, too bad for you. The costs just skyrocketed.
It is despicable. This hard working couple cannot have another child until this gets resolved. They are great parents who pay their bills and pay their taxes. They provide a loving home and a good example for their child. They are active members of their community and just really good people. They would love to have their kids close together, but now it is looking like that may not happen.
But anyone on welfare can have as many babies as they want, whenever they want. They just go down to Grady and walk out with the baby--and no bill. The tax payers have paid it. This is just wrong. Can't my share of the tax money go to help my own? And why isn't the Georgia Insurance Commissioner on top of this? Why aren't they supporting the entrepreneurs of the state instead of treating them like second class citizens?
Has anyone else had a similar problem? I would love to hear about it. Also, we need to be letting our insurance commissioners know that this is not acceptable. What do you all think?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
