Surprise! I bet you thought this was going to be a blank page, didn't you?
Actually, I am sure of a few things--may not know what to do about them all the time but then again, isn't this life a learning process? It is a well know fact that there were times I wished I had made a different decision as a parent, but luckily for me, my kids were able to survive my oft-clumsy parenting.
After raising 3 kids of my own and having 2 stepchildren, I have come to some conclusions. The first is that no parent is perfect. No, seriously, they aren't. Every parent makes mistakes such as over-reacting to something because you had a hard day at work or blamed the wrong child for breaking the TV.
In conjunction with that, no child is perfect. Really, I am not kidding. They all get sassy and loud at the wrong times. They all fight with their brother and throw temper tantrums. It's okay. You are not a bad parent if you admit your kids aren't perfection in bloom.
Now what do you do with this information? For one, let go of the guilt monster. Embrace the parent you are--warts and all. After all, aren't you really trying your best? Isn't your love for your child at the heart of all you do? You are doing fine.
All parents tend to beat themselves up unmercifully. I did. I know plenty of others who have. But in hindsight, I can see it did not do me any good and it did not help my kids. Actually it often had the opposite effect. Sometimes after I was maybe too strict about something, I would feel bad and then let the child get away with inappropriate behavior or let them do something I know I should not have let them do. Then I would feel bad all over again. Does this make any sense?
One of my sons has a story about a specific incident in which I was wrong. I apologized for it a long time ago and he forgave me. Now he just likes to get my goat, and for years, it used to work. But I have finally moved past it. I am in a much healthier place now--acknowledging that I was not perfect, but I also was a terrific mom in many ways.
During this week I am going to be blogging about some more things I know for sure as a prelude to the free parenting teleseminar I am hosting with parenting coach, Barb Desmarais
http://www.theparentingcoach.com on Monday January 19 at 7 pm EST. For more information about the teleseminar, go to my website: http://www.parentsrulewithpat.com or http://www.teleclasscatalog.com/
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1 comment:
These days we are so busy, we tend to overlook the things we say and do! I live in the state of NSW;Australia, and we have a very confronting TV commercial which shows by a set of different scenarios, just how much our kids listen and copy their parent/caregiver.
VERY CONFRONTING! Everything from a 'car raging' mother who's child now screams at cars passing by, to the father & son who hurl abuse at the wife/mother, awful!
Just shows you what they see, and what they will inevitabely wind up DOING, if we are not paying closer attention to our own actions.
Thanks Pat, all the best with the teleseminar!
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