Baby Beach Bum

Doesn't this picture just beg for a blog? Logan is so relaxed--not asleep, but chillin' and enjoying being wheeled around. Life is great for him. His every need is being cared for by loving parents, and occasionally, by doting grandparents and aunts and uncles.

I started to think about the times in my life when I have been this relaxed. What about you? What relaxes you?

For me, laying on the beach on a perfect day--not too hot, not too cold--a breeze blowing, the sound of sea gulls and kids laughing and playng (not mine so I don't have to care what they are doing) in the distance, the sound of the surf lapping at the shore. That will do it for me.

Sometimes I can get like that with meditation, but not always. And usually when I am picturing myself at the beach (see above paragraph).

I have felt like that sitting around with friends laughing and talking nonsense--camping, at home, at an outing. Just forgetting the problems of the world for a short period of time and living in the moment. Jimmy Buffett has a song called I Love the Now which describes being in the moment--not worried about the past or the future. We should all try to do that more often.

Sitting on a rock by a mountain stream hypnotized by the flow of the current and the quiet sounds of the forest around me. The cool air and the woodsy smells add to the charm.

So what makes you this peaceful? Another of my grandsons, Benton, was being pushed in a stroller and was also loving it. I told him it was his turn to push me and he looked shocked and that he couldn't do that. I said that he could because he was now 3 and a big boy. He thought for a minute and then told me, "Mema, I am still a little big boy." He wins.

Australia Is on My Butt

While on my Panama trip to visit Logan and What's Their Names I decided I wanted to go on an adventure trip with my son, Logan's Dad. No, that is not him in the photo. That is a howler monkey that almost made me wet my pants (if I hadn't been so dehydrated) when he screeched, or growled right above me. They sound a lot like a lion to me. Anyway we planned a mountain biking trip through the rainforest with Panama Pete (www.panamapeteadventures.com), who is terrific, by the way, and I really recommend him.

My other son, Michael (who still has a name because he is not yet a dad), said before I went that I should do any of the trips except the biking one. "You know you always fall off, Mom." I chose to ignore his negativity and have a great time on the 14K bike excursion. And I was doing really well for being 57 and not having been on a bike in a couple of years. That is Patspeak for the guys had to keep waiting for me, but I was not walking the bike.

We were crossing a bridge when I decided I needed to walk instead of ride across and as I put my foot down...I am not sure what happened next. All I know is I was sandwiched between the bridge and my bike. It all happened in slow motion but there was nothing I could do to prevent it--you know that feeling? Naturally the first thing I did was curse Michael because obviously it was due to his negativity that I was in that position. Then I started laughing. The guys came back for me, thank goodness. Panama Pete asked if I was okay and in the same breath asked if the bike was okay. I assured him that I protected it with my body so it was fine; for which he was extremely grateful.

The first thing I noticed the next day was the enormous bruise on my butt that looked just like a map of Australia. And it is practically actual size! I thought about doing something with it on E-bay but could not quite figure out what, so I let it go.

Of course the first thing smarty Michael asked was if I fell. I started to give him this story about trying to protect myself from giant tsetse flies who were protected by the Guacamole Act, but I don't think he saw the original movie, The In Laws. (By the way, if you haven't seen it with Peter Falk do yourself a favor and see it...) So I explained that since I was almost stopped at the time, it did not really qualify as a fall.

All in all, the trip was great. We saw toucans, leaf cutter ants, Coati, blue morpho butterfly, howler monkeys, and a lizard that I think is some kind of iguana. Pete pointed out tarantula holes in a bank, but when I asked him to prove it was really tarantula holes by pulling one out, he declined. I wonder...! The plants were beautiful and we had a great time.

Of course, I had the bruises the next day but I could walk without too much ibuprophen. So it was a successful trip, one I would encourage anyone to take--especially when you get a chance to spend a whole day by yourself with your married son.

Should the UN Control Parents' Actions?

Big RED Flags, everyone!! This is very important to read if you are a parent or grandparent.

In 1989 many countries ratified the treaty of the UN Convention of the Rights of the Child. The US did not and has not, although we did sign on to two sections of this treaty dealing with the child soldiers and child prostitution/pornography. President Clinton signed this treaty in 1995 but it was not ratified by the Senate.

Sen. Boxer of CA wants to vote on ratification. "Children deserve basic human rights ... and the convention protects children's rights by setting some standards here so that the most vulnerable people of society will be protected," Boxer said.

Critics say: "To the extent that an outside body, a group of unaccountable so-called experts in Switzerland have a say over how children in America should be raised, educated and disciplined -- that is an erosion of American sovereignty," said Steven Groves, a fellow at the Heritage Foundation, a conservative think tank.

Rep. Pete Hoesktra of MI is proposing a constitutional amendment protecting parents rights. http://www.parentsrights.us. He believes that there has been a continual erosion of the rights of parents for a long time and it is hurting families across this country. We don't need the UN to step in and tell us how to raise our kids.

I agree with him. Children are out of control because parents are afraid to discipline them for fear they will be accused of child abuse. In actuality, the fact that most parents are not disciplining for behavior that is destructive, disrepectful, or dangerous (the three D's referred to pediatrian Michael Papciak, MD in Alpharetta, GA.) can be discerned as a mild form of abuse because the child is allowed to do whatever they want with no consequences and are not being prepared for adult life. The vast majority of parents in this country will never abuse their child. And for the ones who do, there are US laws in place to protect the kids.

Why is the treaty ratification needed? Why should a group of UN officials come into your home and tell you how you can raise your child, how you can educate your child, etc? I agree that on the surface this treaty sounds great--protecting children is something we can all believe in. But the wording is vague and can be interpreted in many ways. We, as parents, need to be vigilant and stand up against anything that further erodes our authority in the home. For instance, who decides what is "in the best interests of the child"? As a parent, I want to make that decision until it is proven that I am not capable.

What can we do? As parents, we can find out more about this situation and contact our Congressional representatives to say that we want autonomy in our homes.

I Didn't Learn THAT in Spanish Class...

I spent last week in Panama City, Panama visiting my grandson, Logan and his parents, What's Their Names. Oh, please, one of the first things you learn as a parent is that you are now Logan's Dad or Logan's Mom for the next 18-23 years. (Sorry, kids, you know I love you, but truth is truth.)

It never ceases to amaze me that I can remember the names of all eleven grandchildren. You would have thought that by now I would be calling them 7 or 11 or hey you. However, I soon realized that it is easier to remember their names than their birth orders.

Back to Panama and the reason for this blog. Last Thursday we decided to do a short hike in El Parque Metropolitano. As the name suggests, it is very near the city. There is actually an overlook with a great view of the city on the trail through the jungle.

All was well when a woman and her kids passed us going up as we were coming back down. My son and daughter-in-law (What's Their Names) spent a couple of minutes chatting in Spanish with her and I smiled confidently from behind them. As she moved on she smiled at me and said "Bueno," which is Panamanian for "Howdy, yall." I repeated the greeting, then (to show off my Spanish skills) added, "Muy caliente hoy." At that she stopped smiling, gathered her children closer to her and rushed away.

My son, as soon as he could get his breath from laughing so hard, asked if I knew what I had said. "Of course--I said it was very warm today," I replied defensively. Again they burst into laughter. Finally they settled down long enough to tell me that I should have said "Hace calor." And then told me that I had told her I was horny. Again with the laughter... He went on to tell me it would have been worse if I had said, "Estoy caliente." To me that woud have meant the I was hot, but in that part of the world, it is an invitation that I certainly would not have intended.

Suddenly I remembered last year in Mexico and started laughing myself. Now I know why that resort gardener, who was about 18, looked so shocked when I spoke to him one very warm day.

They just don't teach this stuff in high school Spanish. So, if you are going to Latin America, forewarned is forearmed!

Use the Recession to Your Benefit

So much is happening right now. All the news we hear is bad. People are frightened. Parents don't know what to tell their kids. Jobs are being lost or income decreased. It is a mess.

But what if you could see a bright side to this dilema? What if something good could come out of it for your family? As parents, I believe this is where we need to focus right now. What are some ways we can do this?

• Maybe you have lost your job or taken a pay cut and are living on less income. Discuss with your kids the difference between NEEDS and WANTS. Make lists of what you need in order for your family to survive and make lists of what you want. Maybe each person could make a list, then compare them to the others. It is a great teaching opportunity for parents.
• Have each person go through their closet and pull out clothes, shoes, and accessories that you no longer use or like. Make it a family project to help someone less fortunate than you. Many people are without jobs right now and need some help. This is a simple way to teach your kids to think of the needs of others. It will make them feel good about themselves.
• As you set up your family budget for the month, share it with your older kids. Let them see where the money goes--how much for food, mortgage, utilities, and so forth. They will be surprised. You will find that the kids will come to you less often for money and will understand why you cannot give them all the things you could before.
• Help your children set up their budgets to live within their means, either with their allowances or from money earned from working. Some money should be set aside to save, even with the youngest ones. In this way, saving becomes a habit and continues into adulthood. They will thank you for it many times over when they are older. (That is one of the problems with good parenting...delayed gratification instead of instant.)
• With less spending money, get creative with entertainment. Instead of a fancy spring break vacation, maybe a few days hiking and camping in the woods. Sitting around a campfire at night is so great for talking and sharing. Find things to do that create family closeness--like card games and board games. There may be some grumbling at first, but soon they will see that it is actually FUN to hang with mom and dad--that maybe you are kind of cool.
• Make a game of trying to find fun things to do. Let each child make a suggestion and do it. At the end of a month or a week, everyone in the family can vote on what was the most fun. The winner gets a prize--a new video game, a gift certificate to a favorite store, the options are endless.

Okay, I have started you off...now it is your turn. Let me know what other things you can do to teach positive thinking to your children rather than doom and gloom. Remember, what we focus on is what we get in life. Zig Ziglar once said, "Whereever you are in life, you made an appointment to be there." That stuck with me. Believe good things are coming, and they will.

Now, turn off the news, get going, go have some fun with the kids!