Parenting Lessons from Ted Kennedy

First let me say that I am on a way different political spectrum from Ted Kennedy and he continually pissed me off while he was in the Senate. Having said that, as I watched the TV spectacle over his demise, it was evident to me that his actions could be used to inspire others to become better parents.

What are you talking about Pat? You just said you disagreed with the guy. Yes, but like everyone else, he had his good points also. So here is my list of How to be a Better Parent, Thanks to Ted Kennedy:

• Be there with your kids. Ted, having lost 3 brothers, took up the slack and became a surrogate dad for all of his nieces and nephews, as well as being a dad to his own kids. Over and over this past week I heard about how he was at every birthday, every graduation, every recital, every everything that was important to all these kids. It is impressive when a person can do that for their own kids, but add in a bunch of others and it is an impressive record. Just the fact that it was mentioned frequently showed how much it meant to all of the kids.
• Have special times with your kids. Each member of Kennedy clan can tell a story about how he went out of his way for them or made them feel special in some way. Can your kids say that about you?
• Instill patriotism in your kids. Several stories were told about how Ted told patriotic stories and read patriotic poems to the kids at various times throughout the year. Although he and I disagreed about what in the best interest of this country, it is apparent that he loved it. He displayed that love to all "his" kids.
• Make learning US history fun. This ties into the previous point. Ted organized a big day trip every year for the entire Kennedy clan. Well, it was his idea--I am sure his staff did the actual organizing. But they all went somewhere every year to learn about our history--battlefields, museums, tours, etc. What a great time for the whole family and they learned something in the meantime. Great idea!
• Teach perserverance. Many of the stories about Ted Kennedy desribed his determination to achieve his goals. Whether it was trying get a piece of legislation passed or winning a saliboat race, he did not give up. Setbacks would occur and he kept trudging ahead. With that attitude, you will win some and lose some, but the wins will far exceed the losses. And he modeled that in words and deeds to the young Kennedys who were watching him.
• Tolerance should be a lifestyle. Understand that others may not agree with you. I heard some Republican leaders tell stories about how he would argue them blue about a topic of discussion. Then he would find a way to create an atmosphere in which a compromise could be achieved. Or, if they were still to disagree, he did not let it interfere with a friendship. When bitterness creeps into differing opinions then no good can come from it. It is only with an open mind that important changes can be made. For instance, the best legislation from our Congress has always been a bi-partisan effort. In that all the needs of all the people have been addressed. That cannot happen when our elected officials stick to partisanship instead of tolerance and understanding and a desire for the greater good.
• Be a friend. This is such an important lesson for parents to teach kids, especially when we may not be the best example. But Ted Kennedy knew how to be a friend. Tale after tale was told about how when this person was going through surgery, Ted was the first person to call. Or how when that person lost a loved one, Ted was the first to be there at the door to offer a hug and a word of condolence. Many stories were told about him doing those things in the last year, as he was so ill himself. Children see these actions and will either learn from them or from their absence.
• Family is the most important thing in our lives. The whole Kennedy clan is an example of this, as are many families throughout our country. We see that with the Jackson family--throughout all of Michael's issues, the family stood together. My ex-husband's family in Tennessee is one of the best examples of family love I have ever seen. The Hawkins family members understand that they are blood--a bond that cannot be broken. No matter what happens, good or bad, they are always a family. If there are squabbles, (and what family doesn't have them?) they don't hold grudges and they find a way to bring understanding and peace. God forbid anything bad happen to any one in that type of family, but if it does, they come together in a united front to defeat the enemy--person, disease, situation, or whatever. It is so freeing to know that no matter what you do, you cannot lose the love and support of the family. Even when my ex and I split up, they made sure I knew that I was still a welcome member of that family and have had close ties to them over the years that we have been divorced. It is that unity that I saw in the Kennedys. And I hope you have the blessing of that kind of family. If not, it is not too late to start.

Trust me, I am not going to apply for his cannonization. He had plenty of warts and errors in his life--as do we all. But I see some traits in the man that I could admire--traits that will make our kids better adults and better citizens in this wonderful country we all love.